Wednesday 16 February 2011

Bubble & Squeak

Roast dinner was fine (when I used to eat meat) but it wasn't the highlight of the weekend. The true culinary hotspot was on Sunday when the leftovers from the previous days meal were transformed from horrible cabbage, soggy potato, inedible peas into the gorgeous, nay sumptuous explosion of taste and texture that was/is and ever shall be bubble & squeak.

Doused with gravy and the obligatory mint sauce, not forgetting the obligatory burnt bits. Nothing, no, nothing could beat it. Add to that a lovely yorkshire pudding and some cold cut and I was dining at the Ritz, the Stamford Bridge Cafe and The Grand Hotel Eastbourne all at the same time.

In fact now that the plate no longer has to accomodate beef, lamb or pork there is room for even more!

Wonderful!

UFO

Sunday lunchtime, before Batman & The Big Match (or heaven help us the dreadful Southern Soccer - more of which anon), in the afterglow of cold meat and Bubble & Squeak (anon 2), one programme stood out - UFO.

UFO was a signpost to the future. In the far off 1980's we wopuld all be driving round in cars with doors that either flipped up at the side or even better still flipped up at the front. We would be wearing all-in-one cream or indeed fawn jumpsuits. Women would have purple bobs and look incredibly gorgeous and we would also have a moonbase, interceptors, mobiles and perhaps most importantly (although I think the sartorial images ran it blooming close), we would be being invaded by Aliens from outerspace.

Funnily enough the alien race is never given a proper name, either by themselves or by human beings; they are simply referred to as "the aliens". Humanoid in appearance, the autopsy of the first alien captured reveals that they are harvesting organs from the bodies of abducted humans (nice). Their faces are stained by the hue of a green oxygenated liquid, which is believed to cushion their lungs against the extreme acceleration of interstellar flight; this liquid is contained in their helmets. To protect their eyes the aliens wear opaque sclera contact lenses with small pinholes for vision. The alien spacesuits were made of red Lycra and if truth be told, gave them a slightly less frightening demeanour.

To defend Earth against the aliens, a secret organisation called SHADO (Supreme Headquarters Alien Defence Organisation) is established. Operating behind the cover of the Harlington-Straker Studios movie studio in England, SHADO is headed by Commander Ed Straker (played by Ed Bishop), he was a former United States Air Force Colonel and astronaut who poses as the studio's chief executive. As an aside one rather dubious element of Straker's character was that he refused to drink alcohol even though he has a fully stocked bar in his SHADO office.

UFO had a large cast, and many of its members would come and go during the course of the series, with a number of actors — most notably George Sewell and Gabrielle Drake — leaving the series during the production break that occurred when the series had to change studios midway through production. It was established early on that SHADO personnel rotate between positions, so the occasional disappearance of characters — some of whom would later return in other positions — fits in with the concept of the series. Also, due to the scheduling of the series, which did not reflect the production order, some episodes featuring departed cast members were not actually aired until late in the series, giving the impression that no major cast changes occurred. Among the major actors, only Ed Bishop appeared in all episodes. The other major recurring characters apart from Straker in the series were:

Colonel Paul Foster (portrayed by Michael Billington) was a former test pilot whose plane was critically damaged when SHADO's Sky One intercepted and destroyed a UFO in close proximity to Foster's jet. His subsequent persistent investigation of the incident threatened to expose SHADO's existence and Straker considered having him killed, but instead was impressed enough with Foster to offer him a position with SHADO. Foster appears to be somewhat of a protégé of Straker's, as he was shown in a number of major positions. He was Moonbase Commander for a time (substituting for Lt. Ellis), assigned to Skydiver for several months, and also receives a position of authority at SHADO HQ. He masquerades as one of Straker's film producers in the studio and enjoyed a brief relationship with Col. Virginia Lake. Foster had the unique distinction of having once befriended one of the aliens, though he could not prevent him from being killed by SHADO personnel; his overall demeanour became noticeably more cynical after this event, a trait that rubbed off fairly quickly on those watching.

Lt. Gay Ellis (Gabrielle Drake) was most often seen as Moonbase Commander during the first half of the series, Lt. Ellis was occasionally portrayed as lacking self-confidence, and at other times as a take-charge officer. She was briefly reassigned to SHADO HQ when it was suggested that she may be romantically involved with Interceptor pilot Mark Bradley ("Computer Affair"). She also appeared to be attracted to Ed Straker, though nothing comes of it.

The thing however that Gabrielle Drake is perhaps most famous for is being the sister of Nick Drake and the mild state of confusion this engendered in me when first seeing a picture of the supremely gifted but pitifully shy guitarist took a while to resolve itself...

Col. Alec Freeman (George Sewell) SHADO's first officer until about the three-quarter point in the series (when Sewell left following the change of studios). A lady's man in his early 40s, Freeman was Straker's right hand man and, occasionally, his muscle. Everybody's pal at SHADO, Freeman takes a sardonic attitude towards some of the things Straker and SHADO must do to survive, and once submitted his resignation in protest over a decision ("Computer Affair"). Straker's closest friend and best man at his wedding, Freeman was the very first operative recruited into SHADO by Straker (as seen in "Confetti Check A-OK").

Footnote
I was convinced that I would one day end up driving Paul Fosters car, fighting The Aliens, working for Shado and most importantly that I would spend every waking hour of the day snogging Lt Gay Ellis, hence my confusion.. Sadly none of those things came to pass, although I was driving home at dusk last night and I saw a bright light in the sky, perhaps...

Monday 14 February 2011

St Valentine's Day


The intrigue, the mystery, the run across the road to buy the girl in the office some flowers, the poem, the imagined kiss, the memories of warm nights under Soho's glow and of course the silent trudge home across the sand at dusk...

Top of the Dadaists - Poll Result

1. Hans/Jean Arp & Francis Picabia
3. Kurt Schwitters & Tristan Tzara
z. Klaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnggggg!!

Thursday 3 February 2011

A day of dAda Art

Sure, there are a few galleries down here. They are scattered quite nicely around the city but...

It is not quite the same as disappearing off into London and hanging out in the Tate (Britain or Modern, I'm not proud) or any of the other wonderful galleries. Turning the corner to find a Schwitters, Tazara, Arp or Picabia slumped against a wall, nailed to the ceiling or melting silently in a ball of fire and ice!

Whoooooooooooooopppppppppppeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

Poll Results - Jingly-jangly

And the winners are:

1. Orange Juice
2. The Smiths
3. Aztec Camera

Oh yes!

Tuesday 1 February 2011

The death of the art of flirting

It was last Tuesday that the art of flirting finally bit the dust, a final coy remark and that was it. Gone. It would be easy (and probably incorrect) to blame the demise of the gentle flirt on ‘Political Correctness’ gone mad, the rise of computer games, the antics of Messrs Gray & Keys or any other of the hundred thousand excuses people trot out at times like these.

Perhaps the fact is, people just don't have the time, the inclination and most importantly the skills required to flirt any more. The art of having one conversation whilst so obviously having a completley different one at the same time with the same person has been lost.

So, for the purpose of historical accuracy I shall recount the moment that flirting died...

In a bar in Sydney, a young man of no more than 23 managed to catch the eye of the young girl serving. He ordered a beer and opened up a charming dialogue which culminated in him offering to buy the young lady a drink too.

"No thanks, can't" she replied. He looked her in the eye and then down at his own drink. "My loss..." he said and walked straight out of the bar, leaving his cold drink on the bar. She looked bemused for a second and then swiftly polished off the drink he'd left behind before popping the glass in the dishwasher.

Meanwhile, outside the bar the young man looked back in through the window as she wiped her mouth on the back of her hand.