Albums no self-respecting gentlemen should own #2 - U2 'The Joshua Tree'

A more lumpen collection of pompous music is quite hard to find. Camouflaged under faux 'rock' stylings, the limited lyrical and musical imagination of Paul Hewson, David Evans, Larry Mullen & Adam Clayton has long been held up as some kind of classic. The arguments in support of this are very lightweight but nevertheless it is still common currency. But with the exception of the first three tracks (Where the streets have no name, I still haven't found what I'm looking for, With or without you) most fans and critics alike would be hard pressed to name any other 'tracks'.

The reason for that is simple, they aren't any good. Most vaguely decent albums of any era can easily muster as many if not more standout tracks - The Joshua Tree simply does not stand the test of time. It is music for students, management graduates and footballers. An album that is devoid of any emotional depth, lyrical sidesteps or political substance (on either a micro or macro level), the only saving grace (and boy am I clutching at straws) is some of Steve Lillywhite's production. The aspects of which are too dull to convey.

U2's rise to prominence is still a thing of genuine mystery. The real pretenders to the post-punk/psychedelic/straight rock world were Liverpool's 2nd best band of the 80's Echo & the Bunnymen (the first being The Teardrop Explodes, who were genuinely psychedelically enhanced and prepared to challenge the normsoc rock that bumped along in the lower reaches of the charts). The Bunnymen looked and sounded the part with Messrs McCulloch, Seargent, De Freitas & Pattinson creating a cohesive and dynamic sound that out stripped the Dublin wannabes easily in the early/mid years. If New Order were Champions League contenders, The Bunnymen were upper reaches of the Premiership then U2 were strictly div 2. (NB On this ranking, The 'mighty' Fall were runaway winner of the World Club Championship).

There is much to detest about The Joshua Tree but the thing that tops it off is the 'iconic' cover... Da boyz all standing nicely huddled in... a... wait for it... desert.... where Gram Parsons' alcohol engorged body was torched and the... Grateful Dead peddled super strength Acid - How very rock 'n roll! They could have only topped it by standing round Jim Morrisons grave in Pere Lachaise or doing an accapella version of Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis' final resting place.

Anyway, enough of this.

There are only two types of music - good & bad. The Joshua Tree fits firmly into one of these types and you know exactly which one.

Mark E Smith RIP

Mark Edward Smith (5 March 1957 – 24 January 2018)

'If it's me and yer granny on bongoes, it's still The Fall'

The Fall

The first time I heard them was on 'City Hobgoblins', the b-Side of 'How I wrote Elastic Man'. I can't recall how come I'd managed to by the single in the first place. It must (almost certainly) have been via John Peel.

Spiders know these things 
Gremlins know these things
Tap, tap, tap, tap
You think it's the pipes
But who turns on the lights?
Our city hobgoblins
Our city hobgoblins
Ubu le Roi is a home hobgoblin 
And at nights all ready
Our city hobgoblins
Our city hobgoblins
Infest my home at night
They are not alright
Ten times my age
One-tenth my height
Our city hobgoblins
Our city hobgoblins
Buzz of the all-night mill
Ah but evil
Emigres from old green glades
Pretentious, eh?
Our city hobgoblins
Our city hobgoblins
They'll get yer
So Queen Victoria
Is a large black slug in Piccadilly, Manchester
Our city hobgoblins
Our city hobgoblins
And they say
We cannot walk the floor at night in peace
At night in peace

They have been a part of my life ever since then. On and off, off and on. For a fortnight once a year, every year, I only listen to The Fall. Friends, family and neighbours know to give me a wide berth during those two particular weeks.

I own pretty much every studio album they've made (and they have made a hell of a lot). I've seen them live a few times. In fact they've played twice in Sydney in the last 18 months and... This is the point I suppose I'm trying to make. I am worried, I'm always worried...

The Fall played at the Metro Theatre here in Sydney on Wednesday night and the core band were great. Greenway is a brilliant guitarist and the rhythm section are astonishing. Elena on keyboards took her coat on and off a few times, played a few neat riffs but was so low in the mix. However, that all paled behind my concern over Mark E Smith. Of course I know better than to expect, "and here's the title track off our latest LP" etc but he just seemed so utterly shot. I hope it was a combination of jet lag and one lager shandy too many but I suspect not.

But anyway...

It was unforgettable all the same.

No Respects / Venice with the Girls / I'm Not from Bury / Wise Old Man / Dedication Not Medication / First One Today / Hittite Man > Junger Cloth / Pledge // Theme from Sparta F.C. // Auto Chip 2014-2016 // I've Been Duped (w/o MES)

New Fall album imminent

Must be time, surely...

Crackdown, dull glow
from laptop reveals
horrors, horrors
and the dull thump
of a bedroom discotheque
at the end of the terrace

they are not coming today
but they are coming
they are coming
are coming
coming
soon

Punk Rock Tear Ups

Going round to a friends armed with a clutch of 7" singles and blasting them out the window, down the street, through the station, beyond the pub, over Marine Parade, over the beach and out there to the wild blue yonder!!!

Top 5 Tear Up Tunes
1. We are all Prostitutes - The Pop Group
2. Complete Control - The Clash
3. In the City - The Jam
4. Smash it Up - The Damned
5. City Hobgoblins - The 'Mighty' Fall