The rules. List the first 50 acts that come into your head. An act you saw at a festival and opening acts count, but only if you can't think of 50 other artists. Oh, and you must include the first gig you ever saw...1. The Jam – Winter gardens Eastbourne 1977. About 50 people there. Have subsequently met about 1000 who said they were.
2. Bob Marley & the Wailers – Brighton Conference Centre. Overwhelming smell of… something herbal.
3. Nick Cave & Bad Seeds – Brixton Academy 2004. The preacher man was in town and the girl next to me tried to kiss me.
4. A Certain Ratio – 2nd Womad. The birth of the Barmy Army ACR army and trying to instigate the ‘Dashing White Sergeant’ as a new dance move.
5. Slim Gaillard – The Wag Club, my best man ended up on stage singing the encore with him.
6. Weekend – The Escape Club, Brighton. Alison Statton very shy and Simon Booth’s big orange Gretsch.
7. New Order – The Basement, Brighton. One of their earliest gigs. Lots of very long coats and even longer stares.
8. Orange Juice – Victoria. Edwyn Collins in lovely checked shirt absolutely mangled ‘In a nutshell’.
9. The Fall – 2nd Womad. MES on stage at lunchtime, stopped ‘Gut of the Quantifier’ three times to berate the drummer.
10. Toumani Diabate – Sydney Opera House 2009. I didn’t know he had had polio as a kid until I saw his bright green walking stick. I also didn’t know music could be so sublime.
11. 23 Skiddoo – 1st Womad. In the Balinese/Gamelan tent playing an impromptu gig, moving away from the funk.
12. The Clash – Hastings Pier 1978. The opening rush of the band to the front of the stage for ‘Safe European Homes’ made the whole audience take a step back.
13. Siouxsie & the Banshees – Hastings Pier 1977. Pre-split, searing guitar, scary lady!
14. Gang of Four – Barbican 2006. A vibrant run through of ‘Entertainment’ although sounded a lot like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers at one stage (oh the irony!)
15. Madness – Luna Park, Sydney 2009 One step Beyond… cue 3,000 poms about to go mental
16. The Who – Wembley Stadium 1979. Look at those old blokes on stage. F’in hippies.
17. The Birthday Party – The Richmond, Brighton. I don’t think that band like us!
18. John Cooper Clarke, The Basement, Sydney 2007. Kept his poetry in a Tesco carrier bag.
19. Beggar – The Archery, Eastbourne. A welsh mod band. They went round all the various pubs in Eastbourne to drum up support. We all then walked to The Archery, raucous set and 6 pints of Harveys equalled a very good night.
20. Teardrop Explodes – Jenkinsons, Brighton. Met Julian Cope in toilets, eyes like saucepan lids and flight jacket on, the true Copey experience.
21. Scritti Politti – The Tate Gallery Garden 2006. Stage front, having lugged cricket gear up from Brighton and blagged way into VIP area. Nicked one of Green’s plectrums.
22. Arctic Monkeys – Hordern Pavillion, Sydney 2009. Worryingly rockist tendencies beginning to emerge from Sheffield’s finest.
23. The Beat - 1st Womad. A brilliant sunshine music gig. Having previously spent the day playing football with Dave Wakeling, Ranking Roger and the Drummers from Burundi (Tip: When playing the D from B, keep it on the deck!).
24. Paul Weller – BBC Theatre at Broadcasting House. Gary Crowley in the audience. Paulo Hewitt too (ahh, those were the days)
25. The Hip Troop – Diplocks, Eastbourne 1983. A punk version of Boyhood sent the punters home happy.
26. Echo & the Bunnymen – Top Rank, Brighton 1982. Drummer Pete DeFreitas was at front of stage left. Only time I’ve ever seen that.
27. Sade – Heaven 1984. The trendiest gig ever, also one of the worst musically.
28. Animal Nightlife – Cinema, Brixton 80’s. Likewise trendy mo-fo’s everywhere, music better though Andy Polaris (real name?) couldn’t sing for a toffee!
29. Trouble Funk – Leadmill, Sheffield 80’s. Went up from South Coast with Tom and the South East Krew dropped the bomb!
30. Marcus Valle – Sydney Opera House 2008. Sweet Samba sounds. MV dressed in true beach bum style.
31. Gary Glitter – De la Warr Gardens, Bexhill 1973. Only saw him play three songs then had to get train home.
32. Supergrass – Paris 2004. Went by myself, drank loads, chatted to a girl from Normandy, very pleasant evening.
33. The Prisoners – Town & Country Club 2002. A reunion gig for the Medways modsters. Much fun had by all.
34. Aztec Camera – The Escape Club, Brighton early 80’s. ‘The Boy Wonders’ dedicated to ‘The Eastbourne Boys’.
35. The Pop Group – CND March, Trafalgar Square 1980. Jerusalem echoing out around the Square and cans upon cans of Tiger Beer.
36. Madonna – Wembley, early 90’s. An absolute nightmare.
37. Rod Stewart - Wembley, early 90’s. Even worse.
38. Prince – Earls Court, early 90’s. Arrived late, left early, marriage very nearly didn’t happen.
39. Rip, Rig & Panic - Sussex University 1984. Man those cats were crazy, all very loose limbed. Mark Springer was magnificent.
40. The Specials – Top Rank, Brighton 1980. A real sense of menace filled the venue, amazing gig, pleased to get out alive!
41. The Slits – The Celtic Club, Sydney 2008. Ari Up prancing around in multi-coloured lycra. All very sad and disappointing.
42. Dexy’s Midnight Runners – Royal Festival Hall, London 2005. A reunion gig, still in fine voice but decidedly camp mini theatrics mid-set recalled dubious dress appearance at Reading.
43. Pet Shop Boys – V Festival, Sydney 2008. Chris Lowe ‘singing’ Paninaro and a big heffelump of an Aussie woman breaking my big toe.
44. Teenbeats – Hastings Pier 1979. Sleeping underneath Hastings Pier after gig.
45. Graham Coxon – HMV, Oxford Street 2006. Found a copy of ‘Democrazy’ the Damon Albarn rare solo album in the racks. Coxon looked cool.
46. Geno Washington – Colne Community Centre, Lancashire 2004. The most pitiful sight possible. Geno and a heavy metal guitarist covering his classics.
47. Bob Dylan – Sydney Entertainment Centre 2008. Despite only being able to see Dylan’s back hunched over keyboards for the whole of the gig. He was actually quite good.
48. Roddy Frame – University College, London 2006. So pissed I couldn’t even sit up straight, very embarrassing.
49. The Freds – Manly Aquarium 2009. The fish racing round the tanks first clockwise and then on some silent signal, anti-clockwise.
50. The Smiths – Sussex University 1984. Gladioli everywhere, Johnny Marr officially the coolest man on earth. Nearly missed last train.
Routemasters, black cabs, couriers and white vans continue to ping past at rush-hour pace. Meanwhile, coming the other way an Anti-Nazi League march merges with a CND rally, heading to Brockwell Park or to confront the National Front.
The chants and songs blend in and out of tune: "Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Out, Out, Out", "The National Front is a Wanker's Front - Smash the National Front". Whistles, drums and Red Stripe cans driving the rhythm on from The Oval up the Brixton Road on to Brockwell Park. Where rain pours down and The Style Council wrestle with a poor PA system.
