The Art of being an English Gentlemen (Part 11)

A strange thing occurred last Saturday. I paid a visit to the lovely Melissa for a cup of tea and a natter about things artistic. When during the course of conversation, she upbraided me for my somewhat relaxed state of dress.

"What has happened to you? When I first knew you, you were all stout brogues, nice suits and turtle neck jumpers. Now it is, well, this..."

I was admittedly wearing a pair of somewhat distressed Mambo shorts that had seen better days. My new T-shirt however was in immaculate condition. My shoes however...

Let me put it this way. The Birkenstock is a comfortable item of footwear and certainly when I'm in a more 'mindful' state of dress I will happily pair them with a 'Zen not Zen' t-shirt and shorts. However, the incident did raise the question about summer footwear. 

On the assumption that the perennial brogue is, for the purposes of this discussion, not to be included. What can one wear? Trainers can be worn but a GOACA* has to be very careful. Please note only the following 12 trainers are acceptable as day wear:

• Adidas Gazelle
• Adidas Superstar (white/navy only)
• Adidas Handball Spezial
• Adidas München
• Adidas Italia
• Adidas Japan
• Adidas Samba (5 a-side football only)
• Puma Suede (Black & White)
• Reebok Classics (only to Association Football matches)
• Gola Harrier (Mods only)
• Onitsuka Tiger
• Chad Suede (As inspired by Terry 'Chad' Kennet on the Quadrophenia album cover)

No other trainer will be permitted.

Of course, 'exercise' training shoes have their place but solely for the purpose of exercise. But be very diligent, these are interesting times.

Next time around, proper shoes!

*GOACA > Gentlemen of a Certain Age

Day in the life of a Poet (September 2020)

Noonglow

-- Midday sunshine
hits Soho directly 
between the eyes.

The swiftest 
of Cappucinos.
--- And then we plunge
down the Dive Bar steps.
-- Sounds of 
Detroit Soul
Jamaican Ska
revving up 
from the depths.

----A rainbow appears 
in our underground.
Ivy League
 Spezzato
  Sprezzatura
   Su misura
     Sartoriale
       Schmutter

A taste of honey 
on the lips of angels.
-- we are all in paradise now.

Welcome to Noonglow!

The Art of being an English Gentlemen (part 10)

We have had a number enquiries about whether the the wearing of Uggs is permitted in the sanctity of one's own home. To be clear on this point, the club rules stipulate the following:

14.1 - Sub-section 2
"On no account shall a Gentleman wear Uggs under ANY circumstance."

We hope that this message is suitably unambiguous. We have noted a number of conversations on the Club's WhatsApp group that seem to suggest members are using Covid-19 as a cover for letting standards slip. Whilst we do not wish to appear overly draconian, we believe that the vast majority of members will recognise this pernicious trend must be stopped in its tracks. Anyone caught wearing 'Uggs' will be suspended with immediate effect until a formal letter of apology has been received and recorded.

The Committee

NO!

The Art of being an English Gentlemen (part 9)

Look here... Just because I haven't managed to file a report on this subject for a few years (8+ to be precise). It doesn't mean that the Art of being an English Gentlemen still isn't uppermost in my mind.

Even with the world spinning hopelessly out of control, there are some key decisions to be made. Laces or slip-ons? Oxfords or brogues? Etc etc..

The current word from The Committee for The Club for summer 2020 is as follows:

1. Gentlemen will mostly be wearing the loafer (with socks).
2. Only three types of tie knot are acceptable (in order of preference).
1. Half Windsor
2. Full Windsor
3. Four in hand
3. Club blazers are completely unacceptable (with following exceptions).
1. Genuine sports clubs
2. The Modern Jazz Quartet
3. French gentlemen 40+
4. "Manbags" are strictly verboten.
5. The following band/artist/pop t-shirts are to be decommissioned until 2022 (unless stated).
1. Ramones
2. The Clash
3. The Smiths (nb Johnny Marr T-shirts are still valid and acceptable)
4. Morrissey (2035)
5. Mod Target
6. Coldplay (indefinite)
7. Radiohead
8. Oasis
9. Wings (nb: other ironic t-shirts such as Bay City Rollers, The Osmonds inc.)
10. Never mind the bollocks/Sex Pistols
6. The blanket ban on English gentlemen wearing baseball caps is to remain in place until further notice. Ditto: Truckers Caps.
7. The flat-cap (aka the Peaky Blinders cap) must not be worn with anything other than a brogue or stout boot. The flat-cap/training shoe combination must never be worn. Penalty - 
1. 1st offence. All club rights national and international to be revoked for 12 months.
2. 2nd offence. As above for 3 years.
3. 3rd offence. A lifetime worldwide ban from the club, premises & events. In addition to be regarded as persona non grata.
8. The Cane - Gentlemen favouring a cane must note that sword-sticks are still outlawed in some of the clubs territories. However, use within The Club HQ is still permitted between 9pm and dawn.
9. Espadrilles can only be worn in the following countries:
1. Spain
2. Mexico
3. Portugal
4. Morocco.
10. Colours for this summer: Pink, Powder Blue, Navy Blue. 

The Committee

Insights from a Modernlife

Poll Results - Fred Perry Shirts

1 = Pastel Green (Red & Blue Trim)
1 = Black (with gold trim)
3 = Brown (with sky trim)
3 = Red (with blue trim)

The thrill of shopping

In the early 80's it was impossible to buy Big E levis, button down Ben Sherman shirts or even proper Clark's Desert Boots. You had to hunt the length and breadth of the country for the sniff of one of these original items.

"Have you heard about the mythical charity shop in Brighton that's got a whole box of button down Ben Sherman's?"
"There's a place in Bath that sells Big E's."

Such snippets of crucial information would be passed on at gigs or football matches only to the selected few. Many leads would turn out to be false but some did bring success. A pair of faded Big E's in Camberwell being a particularly memorable find.

But now of course you can get rare Lee Stormrider jackets, Big E's and a million different shades of Ben Sherman's all at the touch of the return button. I'm not saying that it is necessarily a bad thing. Just that it is now a different experience and one that takes away a little of the pleasure that wearing the right clothes should always bring.

Carnaby Street

Not what it used to be

The Small Faces no longer run up exorbitant debts in Lord John's. The Jam no longer play opposite the Marlborough and you can no longer shop in the Carnaby Cavern for the finest red & black polka dot shirts this side of Regent Street.

The only thing left to marvel at are the massive snowmen that should have melted months ago.

Gentlemen's Outfitters

The time is getting very close for me to pep up my wardrobe with a couple of new suits. Having previously had the overwhelming pleasure of enjoying the fine work of Mr Eddie and Chris Kerr and even the off peg elegance of Mr Paul Smith, I have started trawling the backstreets of Sydney to find a suitable replacement for my by now more time worn suits.

Sadly with no success. It seems that the nearest decent outfitters is in Rome. Although I have to confess to not having tried Bangkok or Hong Kong tailors yet. My gut feeling however is that they won't be up to the mark, especially for my proposed Harris Tweed suit - ideal for the subtropical climes! So, I shall have to wait until my trip back to blighty in July! Oh, didn't I mention the fact that I'm coming home?

J.Simons

Run by John Simon the former proprietor of The Ivy Shop. This home of all things suitably modernist and often rocking is an oasis of fine clothing (Harrington Jackets to the finest tweeds) and fine footwear (Paraboot, Weejuns and the rest). Tucked in betweeen Covent Garden and Drury Lane it won't be around forever; so in the meantime make the most of it, you lucky people!

Proper shoes in proper shops

Being of a slightly debonair dispostion, I am getting near my wits end. With the exception of my trips back to the UK/Italy this year I haven't bought a pair of shoes since migrating out here in January 07.

This is truly an alarming state of affairs and the simple reason is that the nearest decent shoe shop is in Rome (or maybe Tokyo). Not an ideal scenario.

All I want is a decent bloody shoe shop with some proper shoes in. For heavens sake a man cannot survive on Birkenstocks alone!