The drugs don’t work.
Heralded as this generation’s Echo & the Bunnymen. Coldplay, featuring: Pianist Chris ‘Call me Mr Minor-key’Martin, guitarist Ronny Cosmos, bassist Jive Turkey and hapless drummer Bill Chump. Released a really very average album, wackily entitled ‘Parachutes’ in 2000. It has sold over a billion copies and has made them all as rich as Croesus – except poor old Bill, who gets barely tuppence a financial quarter.
They have stolen the hearts (and minds) of a whole generation of rather soppy individuals who think watching a bloke who writes on his own hand has raided the big boys dressing up box is somehow cool.
According to a made-up source, they are responsible for decimating the whole of the Amazon and melting the polar ice-caps. Nobody at “The Things I Miss…” can verify this outrageous claim and as such we are inclined to dismiss it as merely the rantings of a lazy journalist who is desperate to fill the required word count.
Coldplay are to music what Michael McIntyre is to comedy.
Little is known about this record and certainly nobody at “The Things I Miss…” will admit to having heard it all the way through. Made by the remnants of Syd Barrett’s band, apparently it goes on quite a bit.
File under, crap albums you’ve never actually heard.
The Last Sunbathers Beach Club*
Have released their debut album 'Albion Hotel' on Soul Bay Records.
The 'Things I miss about England' blog wholeheartedly endorses this release!
(click pic for link)
And so, as the year stumbles to conclusion, will 2023 manage to catch those ahead or will it languish in middle-table mediocrity?
I’d like to think that I have often been ahead of the curve when it comes to many things, clothes, music, books, films & assorted general trends. However, it turns out I’ve been seriously lagging.
It transpires that I have been diagnosed with Adult ADHD, much, much later than all the trendy kids… Whilst it accounts for my rather exhausting daily mental gymnastics, it is quite a blessing at being diagnosed as one of the 5.4% of males with the condition, or is it? Or am I?
Ooh look there’s a Magpie…
To give you an example of what happens in my head. FILTER OFF - I am going to write things in a complete straight line and not edit all the other conversations that pop into my – do you remember On the Buses with Reg Varney or was it Jamie Vardy. Imagine Reg Varney upfront for the Filberts or foxes (Urban foxes are well cool – can’t remember the name of the TV naturalist who likes foxes and has just been diagnosed with Asperger’s, he wears nice knitted t-shirts and likes Punk – Packham that’s his name. Chris Packham. A big fan of Penetration (Lead singer Pauline Murray)).
FILTER BACK ON - Ok. I’ll take a break there and press on with my journalistic filter switched well and truly on. I am going to explain just how ADHD manifests in my world. It should be noted, without a hint of irony that I thought about starting this article when I was diagnosed in June 2022.
Anyway, I often find myself, drifting off at tangents especially when the subject matter doesn’t interest or when I know what people are going to say before they’ve actually said it. That is often the situation I dislike the most as my behaviour can seem rather rude or dismissive. Yes, yes get on with it etc.
FILTER OFF - I’m trying to write this piece and the editor to my right is speaking loudly over her shoulder to no-one in particular. The computer beeps sound like a Kraftwerk outtake and I really must let the radio show know I’m going to be away for two week. Chelsea’s result against City was encouraging. I wish I could type quicker to keep up with my… The Peppermint Liquorice are quite a good band. I’m really looking forward to seeing A Certain Ratio in Reading on Thursday. God, my scalp is itchy, do I think I’ve got COVID (is that a sign). Itchy eyebrows. FILTER BACK ON…
One - I’ve been looking back at a number of previous posts and I can’t help but wonder what on earth people make of my meanderings. Perhaps this revelation might help.
Two - The fact that my particular lens is tinted by this diagnosis should equally not detract from the point(s) I'm trying to make.
By the way, the Magpie is still looking in through the window. And having ADHD is like having a meteor storm whizzing across my mind's sky...
There's nothing better than the faded glory of British seaside town in the winter time.
- Andrew Weatherall
But certainly, the preoccupied hollow look of the Conservatives (unelected) Covid Commissar shot me straight back to 2020, sitting at my home office desk during the height of the pandemic.
Now, I must confess to being somewhat morbidly interested in old Dom. The fact that he moved to Russia after graduating from Oxford is often overlooked (maybe it isn’t true, another Wiki-lie?). His determination to eviscerate and evaporate obstacles (or taking up wilful and contrarian positions) is something to be examined in more detail at another time.
It also reminds me yet again that the right often seems to have the reputation for more radical thinking and “big brain” ideas than the left, a sort of the devil has all the best tunes motif that strikes me as being very tired and overplayed. When surely there are enough dynamic leftist thinkers proposing new and vibrant ways of creating a more equitable society – surely? (Note to self: like whom? more work to be done!).
Anyway, back to the matter in hand. Cummings at the COVID post-mortem has dredged up all sorts of memories of a) my own personal experience of lockdown and b) the complete and utter shit show that the Buffoon and his puppeteer oversaw. A reminder to all concerned never ever leave a complete narcissist in control of a country in a crisis (UK/USA you have been warned). To be honest, the lived experience in Australia seems to have been considerably better than that of GB & NI, despite having our own clown at the helm.
The horror of Dr Stewart Pearson (aka the Dominator) thinking he knew better than Westminster mandarins might be technically true but at no single stage did old Dommy two brains comprehend that his reprehensible and neolithic approach to man/woman management might be adding to the carnage. The upside/downside of deluded self-styled thought leaders is that their interpersonal skills are so appalling they can never see things through.
Anyway, those lockdown memories keep flooding back.
Not having to speak to anyone
Time to play the guitar
Bad food decisions
Grow a daft beard
Listen to John Lee Hooker all day
That’s it… except for
When lockdown was lifted
No need for excuses for not working
When lockdown was lifted
Not having to speak to anyone…
When lockdown was lifted
The Magnificent Seven - The Clash
Trans-Global Express - The Jam
Pale Blue Eyes - Velvet Underground