Who put the ball in United's net? Arthur, Arthur
Who put the ball in United's net? Arthur f'in Chelsea!
When the minnows meet the international superstars of the premier league, when the whole town disappears to see their local team (for the first and only time) get utterly mauled by an in-form Championship side and when the local baker makes an FA Cup shaped special with the immortal words “Up for the Cup’ in blue piping on top. Old cup heroes (Chris Kelly of Leatherhead, Ricky George of Hereford Utd etc) are wheeled in front of the cameras and whichever team “Fat Sam” Allardyce manages shows their respect for the oldest cup competition in the world by fielding a team of youth players and loan signings from Ostende FC.
Once the games are underway the best place to capture it is at Stamford Bridge in the East Upper with the three toothed, radio carrying ‘Henge’ stuttering out the results as Chelsea put in a suitably lacklustre performance (later scraping through in a replay at Roots Hall). Meanwhile all the other results are flooding in, Wealdstone Rifles have taken a two goal lead against Cardiff, Man Utd are 4-0 up against West Ham after 5 minutes and Sunderland are losing. Come the half time pint and the morbid second half, a quick dash to the pub to get the final results. Plucky Wealdstone lose 3-2, Man Utd took off 9 players to rest them for a team pub quiz and they still managed to put six past the ‘ammers and Sunderland lost.
The Sunday papers are brim full of the near misses, the thrashings and hope against hope the giant killing – which usually involve one of three teams; Kettering, Blyth Spartans and Crystal Palace. Then it is down the pub to watch the Sunday games, culminating in Spurs losing away to Liverpool. Same thing every year, you can’t beat it!
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