A Ted Rogers - ' The Cocktail of the Gods'

3-2-1

3 measures of Smirnoff Black label
2 measures of 10 year old white rum
1 large splash of Champagne
A small dash of R.Whites Lemonade (opened left-handed)
2 crushed cubes of ice (Preferrably Evian)
1 slice of lime


Shake Vodka, Rum, Ice and Lemonade before adding splash of Champagne
Serve in half pint straight glass and pretend it's water!

Created by the Great Hector Chumpitaz - Head Barman at the Tivoli/Hippodrome Theatre Eastbourne and keen poker player. Circa 1985

The Art of being an English Gentleman (Part 5)

Wake up sober, get up drunk. Sway gently to the beautiful cleansing rhythms of the Modern Jazz Quartet whilst ironing crisp white shirt. Look out of the window of my Marble Arch hotel room. Try to remember the chaos of the night before. Dress in lighted grey three-button summer suit, crisp white aforementioned, silver links, black/sky tie, stout brogues (black). Stroll through the lobby, receive knowing look from the concierge. Thrust myself out into the hubbub of Oxford Street.

Stride purposefully to Piccadilly Circus. Straight into the bar at the Criterion, demand a very large Ted Rogers (see 'Cocktail of the Gods' entry). Down it in one. Plonk self at end of bar, read cricket reports, chuckle at Surrey's plight. Order second Ted. Finish. Step out into afternoon light. Weave way to a small poetry reading in Greek Street, declaim beautiful, hysterical, decadent and romantic verse for two hours. Leave smothered in kisses, with a rather feisty thing called Maisy on my arm, glowing with sheer unadulterated delight. Hail Taxi and head for the banks of the River Thames. Get out, propose undying love to the night, the city and the stars and then head back to Marble Arch.

Wake up drunk, get up later...

Poll Results - Tube lines

Favourite tube line

1. Piccadilly
2. District
3. Circle

Haircut 100

Calling Captain Autumn

Often unfairly derided as being a trite little pop band. I liked the '100, a tight little funk-pop band with top tunes, chunky sweaters, billy whizz guitar chords, deck shoes or brogues, jaunty Beatles caps, sowesters, Triumph Heralds, country pubs, games of cricket, obscure lyrics courtesy of old cheeky chops Heyward and a very fine version of 'Low Rider' by War.

A decidedly more upbeat alternative to Josef K and the rest of the long mac brigade (not that I wasn't adverese to immersing myself in the collected works of Joy Division for months on end - more from them later...)

For additional memories amble through the Pelican West track listing and pick a tune!
Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets Girl, Love Plus One, Lemon Firebrigade, Marine Boy, Milk Film, Kingsize (You're My Little Steam Whistle), Fantastic Day, Baked Bean, Snow Girl, Love's Got Me in Triangles, Surprise Me Again, Calling Captain Autumn +
CD bonus tracks: Boat Party, Ski Club, Nobody's Fool, October Is Orange (day 1 and 2)

Walking back from town

No night buses, taxis, gun culture, knives, muggings...

Just walking along the middle of Seaside Road at two in the morning, singing to the moon. Oh, how the townsfolk loved my unerring renditions of modern day popular classics... The look of love... Fly me to the moon... We don't need that Fascist Groove thang... Felicity... Blue Monday... The hits just kept on coming!

RNLI

Because it's rough out there

The Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI) is a charity that saves lives at sea around the coasts of the British Isles, as well as inshore. Founded by Sir William Hillary (Isle of Man) on 4 March 1824 as the National Institution for the Preservation of Life from Shipwreck, adopting the present name in 1854.

The RNLI operates over 230 lifeboat stations around the coasts of Great Britain and Ireland. Since 1980, lifeboat rescues have doubled; the RNLI rescues an average of 22people each day.

Over 137,000 peoples lives have been saved by the RNLI. Bloody marvellous!

Poll Results - Airports

1. Luton
2. Stanstead
3. Gatwick

Martello Towers

I can see one from my window

Between 1804 and 1812 the British authorities built a chain of towers based on the original Mortella tower to defend the south and east coast of England, Ireland, Jersey and Guernsey to guard against possible invasion from France, then under the rule of the Emperor Napoleon. A total of 103[8] Martello towers were built in England, set at regular intervals along the coast from Seaford, Sussex, to Aldeburgh, Suffolk. Most were constructed under the direction of General William Twiss (1745–1827) and a Captain Ford.[9][10]

The effectiveness of Britain's Martello towers was never actually tested in combat against a Napoleonic invasion fleet. After the threat had passed, the Martello towers in England met a variety of fates. The Coastguard took over many to aid in the fight against smuggling. Fifteen towers were demolished to enable the re-use of their masonry. The sea washed thirty away and the military destroyed four in experiments to test the effectiveness of the new rifled artillery.

During the Second World War, some Martello towers returned to military service as observation platforms and firing platforms for anti-aircraft artillery. Forty-seven have survived in England, a few of which have been restored and transformed into museums (e.g., the tower at St Osyth), visitor centres, and galleries (such as Jaywick Martello Tower). Some are privately owned or are private residences; the remainder are derelict. A survey of the East Coast towers in 2007 found of the 17 remaining, most were in a reasonable condition.

I love the way they hover on the edge of the English coast, standing staunch against the elements and the threat of ancient invasions. They invoke a deep affection in me for the particular stretch of coast from the Wish Tower to Cooden Beach (Soul Bay). So, much so that the house I bought in Normans Bay is 50 yards from one - I wanted to actually buy one but couldn't quite manage to win that argument!

Heathrow Airport

Touchdown at dawn, having flown half the way round the world. Stumble out from the warm but smelly cocoon of a QF flight into the bitter cold of a Heathrow morning. Traipse three quarters of a mile to passport control. Be greeted by a surly forty something skinhead/Passport control officer. Head down to the luggage reclaim, find that none of the trolleys work properly. Finally find one with a wonky wheel. Join the queue at the carousel. Wait...

...until an hour later the last bag is collected leaving only a trainer and a pushchair slowly circling around. Head through customs, avoid the gaze at all times and flop into the arrivals lounge to be greeted by a row of dodgy cab drivers/chauffers. Try out the cash machine, get lucky. Buy a Guardian and then try to navigate the trolley to the Heathrow Express. Miss the next two london bound trains whilst trying to purchase a ticket. Finally get on board the stopping train to Paddington. Train pulls out of Heathrow Terminal 4. Heave huge sigh of arrival, it's good to be back home!

Brick Lane

The noise, the smells, the posh & the poor, the curry houses, bakeries, the history. Above all the history that seeps through every inch of this wonderfully mixed up, shook up stretch of East London.

The Third Round of the FA Cup

Who put the ball in United's net? Arthur, Arthur
Who put the ball in United's net? Arthur f'in Chelsea!

When the minnows meet the international superstars of the premier league, when the whole town disappears to see their local team (for the first and only time) get utterly mauled by an in-form Championship side and when the local baker makes an FA Cup shaped special with the immortal words “Up for the Cup’ in blue piping on top. Old cup heroes (Chris Kelly of Leatherhead, Ricky George of Hereford Utd etc) are wheeled in front of the cameras and whichever team “Fat Sam” Allardyce manages shows their respect for the oldest cup competition in the world by fielding a team of youth players and loan signings from Ostende FC.

Once the games are underway the best place to capture it is at Stamford Bridge in the East Upper with the three toothed, radio carrying ‘Henge’ stuttering out the results as Chelsea put in a suitably lacklustre performance (later scraping through in a replay at Roots Hall). Meanwhile all the other results are flooding in, Wealdstone Rifles have taken a two goal lead against Cardiff, Man Utd are 4-0 up against West Ham after 5 minutes and Sunderland are losing. Come the half time pint and the morbid second half, a quick dash to the pub to get the final results. Plucky Wealdstone lose 3-2, Man Utd took off 9 players to rest them for a team pub quiz and they still managed to put six past the ‘ammers and Sunderland lost.

The Sunday papers are brim full of the near misses, the thrashings and hope against hope the giant killing – which usually involve one of three teams; Kettering, Blyth Spartans and Crystal Palace. Then it is down the pub to watch the Sunday games, culminating in Spurs losing away to Liverpool. Same thing every year, you can’t beat it!

Madness

North London's finest, a national treasure, the nuttiest sound around.

I've just taken receipt of the very fine 'Liberty of Norton Folgate' box set and the joy of the magnificent Madness swept over me once again. I remember seeing them at The Lyceum and the Top Rank in the early 'One Step Beyond' days and I managed to catch them a month ago when they played Luna Park in Sydney. They are still the most danceable, enjoyable and occasional melancholic band going.

So, hats off to Messrs Barson, Chrissy Boy, Woody, Bedders, Monsieur Barso, Lee 'Kix' Thompson and of course Suggs. 1,2,3,4...

Stop the City

Oh happy days. When revolution was just a Special Brew fuelled stroll through London away! Helicopters on demand!

The view from... Muswell Hill

Out over Alexandra Palace, Tottenham and on, on to the far flung desolate land that is Essex. Sweet memories of Guy Fawkes night (which reminds me), the fair, the farmers market, the fantastic Sushi shop and much much more.

All the while with the ghost of The Kinks echoing across the rooftops and disused viaducts...

Tizer

Not quite sure what it was made of, not quite sure if it still exists. But I do know that if you mix it with Vodka the world seems a better place!

The view from... Primrose Hill

Primrose Hill is a hill of 256 feet located on the north side of Regent's Park in North London, England, and also the name for the surrounding district. The hill has a clear view of Central London to the south-east, as well as Belsize Park and Hampstead to the north. Quite simply it is the perfect place for new lovers, old lags and Eastern European ‘Trade Delegates’ and ‘Civil Servants’ to meet, greet and swap state secrets.

Like Regent's Park, Primrose Hill was once part of a great chase stolen by Henry VIII and became Crown property in 1841. In 1842 an Act of Parliament secured the land as public open space, so put that one in your pipe and smoke it. The built up part of Primrose Hill consists mainly of Victorian terraces. It has always been one of the more fashionable districts in the urban belt that lies between the core of London and the outer suburbs, and remains expensive and prosperous. Primrose Hill is an archetypal example of a successful London urban village, due to the location and the quality of its boozers.

Primrose Hill in sound, vision and print

• It is referred to in a poem by William Blake: "...The fields from Islington to Marylebone/To Primrose Hill and Saint John's Wood/Were builded over with pillars of gold/And there Jerusalem's pillars stood..." It was upon Primrose Hill which the poet-illustrator supposedly climbed and had conversations with the Spirit of the Sun. He also believed that this area would eventually be the foundation for one of the pillars of the biblical New Jerusalem and he was right about that!

• Musician Billy Bragg mentions seeing Angels up on Primrose Hill in his song Upfield "I dreamed I saw a tree full of angels, up on Primrose Hill". Bragg says he was inspired to write this song from William Blake. Nice one Bill!

• In H.G. Wells' book The War of the Worlds, Primrose Hill was the site of the final Martian encampment.

• Primrose Hill is referred to in the Blur song For Tomorrow. The lyrics "and the view's so nice", from the song, have been painted on a path leading to the top of Primrose Hill.

• Primrose Hill is mentioned in the Appleton single "Everything Eventually", with the line "Let's go fly a kite on Primrose Hill". The video for the song was shot there too.

• Oasis took the black and white photo for the cover of the single "Wonderwall" here where a girl is shown through a frame.

• Primrose Hill is referred to in "Emit Remmus" ('summer time' backwards), a song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, which is off of their 1999 album Californication.

• Primrose Hill is referred to by Herman Melville in his "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo!" short story. It refers to "all London, from Mile End (which is no end) to Primrose Hill (where there ain't any primroses..."

• In "The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul," by Douglas Adams, Kate Schecter lives in a flat on Primrose Hill.

• Primrose Hill is referred by Beverley Martyn in her song "Primrose Hill" on the 1970 John & Beverley Martyn album Road to Ruin, later irritatingly sampled in "North West Three", a tune by Fatboy Slim, on his 2004 album "Palookaville".

• The English popular beat group Madness released a song named "Primrose Hill" on their album The Rise & Fall. It starts with the line "A man opened his window and stared up Primrose Hill...". The album cover was also photographed on the hill itself.

• Primrose Hill is an underground station on the North London System in the novel The Horn of Mortal Danger (1980).

• A murder is committed in Primrose Hill by "The Avenger" in Marie Belloc Lowndes's 1913 mystery, The Lodger.

• Top of Primrose Hill shown in opening scene of "Bridget Jones Edge of Reason".

• The Emilíana Torrini song "Unemployed in Summertime" begins with the lyrics "Let's get drunk on Saturday, Walk on Primrose Hill until we lose our way".

• Parts of the British romance comedy Imagine Me & You was filmed on Primrose Hill, featuring Lena Headey and Piper Perabo

• In George MacDonald's fantasy novel At the Back of the North Wind, North Wind and Diamond briefly halt at the top of Primrose Hill during their first nightly voyage.

• American singer-songwriter Loudon Wainwright III lived nearby for a time and wrote a song called "Primrose Hill" about the area – which is all we bloody need..

• Rupert Grint's character, Ben, walks down Primrose Hill at the end of "Driving Lessons."

• One of the scenes of 2006 movie Breaking and Entering takes place at the top of Primrose Hill.

• Two main characters from Bookends, by Jane Green, Cath and Si often visit Primrose Hill to walk a friend's dog, Mouse.

• Primrose Hill appears to be where Martha Jones teleports back to when The Master begins to take over the world in the Doctor Who episode, The Sound of Drums

• In Dodie Smith'sThe Hundred and One Dalmatians, the Dearly family live near the district, on Regent's Park's Outer Circle, with Primrose Hill itself forming an excellent location for Pongo to engage in the 'twilight barking'.


Primrose Hill Residents

• Adam Ant (born, Stuart Leslie Goddard), singer-songwriter and actor
• Alan Bennett, author and baker of exceedingly good eccles cakes
• Cameron McVey, Producer (Massive Attack, Sugababes, All Saints)
• Charles Brasch, notable New Zealand poet, editor, and cultural critic
• Chris Moyles, Crap & Fat Radio 1 DJ and borderline homophobe
• David Miliband, Foreign Secretary
• Enrique Iglesias, Spanish Singer (not sure about this)
• Eva Green, actress
• Ewan McGregor, An actor
• Finley Quaye singer-songwriter
• Friedrich Engels, Singer, songwriter, political philosopher and co-author of The Communist Manifesto
• Geri Halliwell, “singer”, “songwriter” and “children’s author”
• Helena Bonham Carter 2, actress
• Ian McKay, writer and academic
• Jamie and 'Jools' Oliver, celebrity chef and trophy wife
• Joan Bakewell Tart, journalist and broadcaster
• John McCririck, objectionable horse racing pundit
• Martin Shaw, actor, composer and organist of St Mary's, Primrose Hill
• Jon Snow, News Broadcaster, discoverer of the Cholera virus and former England fast bowler
• Jonny Lee Miller, actor and star of "Love, Honour & Obey"
• Jude Law, actor and star of "Love, Honour & Obey"
• Kate Moss, fashion model
• Neneh Cherry, singer and songwriter
• Rachel Weisz, actress
• Rachel Stevens, actress, singer, model, scientist
• Sadie Frost, “actress” currently between roles and co-owner of fashion label Frost French and bit part player in of "Love, Honour & Obey"
• Sean Pertwee, actor and star of "Love, Honour & Obey"
• Sharleen Spiteri, singer
• Sienna Miller, actress
• Simon Callow, An ACTOR/SHOUTER!
• Sophie Ellis-Bextor-Swing-Bacon, “singer” and songwriter

The view from… the downs (part 2)

Standing at the foot of the Long man of Wilmington with a pint in my hand.

The origin of the Long Man remains hazy, most probably a medieval stag night prank. Originally, the earliest record of the carving was in a drawing done by William Burrell when he visited Wilmington Priory, nestling under Windover Hill. However, an earlier record was found made by the surveyor John Rowley in the year 1710. The 18th century drawing suggested that the original figure was a shadow or indentation in the grass with facial features, rather than just a solid outline of a human figure. The head was a helmet shape and the staffs were not depicted as a rake and scythe as was once thought but more of a Mattal (A traditional Sussex weapon - not unlike a modern machete), which was used for lopping off the heads of the local landed gentry by the ‘Freemen of Sussex’. The Freemen were a notorious band of anti-monarchist atheists (and most probably the real model for the tale of Robin Hood) who scoured the length and breadth of Sussex for the majority of the 14th Century. It was they who gave rise to the Sussex motto 'We won't be druv'. It should be noted that Sir William Borrow's drawing of 1766 shows the figure holding a rake and a scythe, both shorter than the staves.

Before 1874, the Long Man was only visible after a light fall of snow in certain light conditions (such as in early morning or evening). In that year Reverend William de St Croix marked out the outline with yellow bricks cemented together though it is claimed that the restoration process distorted the position of the feet, and removed the Long Man's genitalia (there is no historical or archaeological evidence which supports the latter claim). Although the ‘Sons & Daughters of the freemen of Sussex’ claim that the genitalia were removed on the express orders of Queen Victoria who was alarmed at the prodigious size of the appendage which according to observers made both Prince Albert and John Thomas Brown look rather wee by comparison.

Archaeological work done by the University of Reading suggests that the figure dates from the sixteenth or seventeenth century AD. Although this is likely to be absolute bunkum, as those good for nothing geeks at Reading have spent far too long watching countdown and drinking snakebite and know knack all about Sussex.

In 1925, the site of the Long Man was given to the Sussex Archaeological Trust (now the Sussex Archaeological Society) by the Duke of Devonshire (which is pretty ironic as it wasn’t his to bloody give away in the first place). During the Second World War the Long Man was painted green to avoid it being used as a landmark by German aircraft. However, the painters who were used to cover up the job did paint a huge bullseye target on the roof of the Duke of Devonshire’s house! Sadly the Heinkel pilot’s aim was a bit off that night.

In 1993 a book, The Druid Way by Sussex author Philip Carr-Gomm, drew attention to the supposed spiritual and psychological significance of the Long Man as a sacred site for the modern world. He has yet to be disproved.

The view from… the downs (part 1)

Looking out over the elegant sweep of the Italian Gardens, Wish Tour, Bandstand , the Pier, Redoubt, Langney Point all the way along to Normans Bay and beyond to Hastings and sometimes as far as Dungeness. As far as the eye can see…

Bluebell Railway

Despite my earlier homage to BR toast I am more of a bus man than a train man. That being said it doesn’t stop me from missing the volunteer run Bluebell Line which was the UK's first preserved standard gauge passenger railway, re-opening part of the Lewes to East Grinstead line of the old London Brighton & South Coast Railway in 1960. Since then it has apparently developed into one of the largest tourist attractions in Sussex, yet it still remains true to its objectives of the preservation for posterity of a country branch line, its steam locomotives, coaches and goods stock, signalling systems, stations and operating practices.

It is also inevitably features in every possible period drama featuring steam locomotion, from ‘Brideshead Revisited’ to ‘Eh oop there goes the neighborhood’ (A satirical look at life in a pre-electrification Leeds circa 2004).

The view from… Suicide Bridge

Looking out over tired old London

Thomas Telford's construction of Archway Road was originally intended to pass through Highgate Hill as a tunnel. However, the tunnel collapsed, leaving an inadvertent cutting through the hill. In 1813, John 'Nutter' Nash built a bridge, known as the Archway, to carry the ancient Hornsey Lane over the cutting. Between 1897 and 1900, Nash's bridge was replaced with the present cast-iron structure, officially called the "Hornsey Lane Bridge" but universally known as "Suicide Bridge". Suicide Bridge is, as the name would suggest, one of the world's most significant locations for suicides, and is the only significant suicide bridge to pass over land rather than water, which makes for a very messy landing. A sign on the Hornsey side suggests that if you are contemplating topping yourself you should; 'Take the Eastbourne train from Victoria and if you haven't already flung yourself out of the moving train in despair at passing through the living hell that is Three Bridges then you should alight at Eastbourne and take a cab to Beachy Head'.

Accessible from the Archway Road level by a steep flight of steps, Suicide Bridge, as one of the highest points in London, offers impressive views over London and is a popular spot for photographers.

Suicide Bridge marks the boundary between Islington and Haringey, and consequently the official boundary between Inner London and Outer London. Although technically the boundary runs down the centre of the bridge, in practice the bridge is treated as part of Haringey and the land beneath it as part of Islington. For historic reasons, the bridge itself is owned and maintained by the Corporation of London.