Friday, 6 March 2020

The Art of being an English Gentlemen (part 9)

Look here... Just because I haven't managed to file a report on this subject for a few years (8+ to be precise). It doesn't mean that the Art of being an English Gentlemen still isn't uppermost in my mind.

Even with the world spinning hopelessly out of control, there are some key decisions to be made. Laces or slip-ons? Oxfords or brogues? Etc etc..

The current word from The Committee for The Club for summer 2020 is as follows:

  1. Gentlemen will mostly be wearing the loafer (with socks).
  2. Only three types of tie knot are acceptable (in order of preference).
    1. Half Windsor
    2. Full Windsor
    3. Four in hand
  3. Club blazers are completely unacceptable (with following exceptions).
    1. Genuine sports clubs
    2. The Modern Jazz Quartet
    3. French gentlemen 40+
  4. "Manbags" are strictly verboten.
  5. The following band/artist/pop t-shirts are to be decommissioned until 2022 (unless stated).
    1. Ramones
    2. The Clash
    3. The Smiths (nb Johnny Marr T-shirts are still valid and acceptable)
    4. Morrissey (2035)
    5. Mod Target
    6. Coldplay (indefinite)
    7. Radiohead
    8. Oasis
    9. Wings (nb: other ironic t-shirts such as Bay City Rollers, The Osmonds inc.)
    10. Never mind the bollocks/Sex Pistols
  6. The blanket ban on English gentlemen wearing baseball caps is to remain in place until further notice. Ditto: Truckers Caps.
  7. The flat-cap (aka the Peaky Blinders cap) must not be worn with anything other than a brogue or stout boot. The flat-cap/training shoe combination must never be worn. Penalty - 
    1. 1st offence. All club rights national and international to be revoked for 12 months.
    2. 2nd offence. As above for 3 years.
    3. 3rd offence. A lifetime worldwide ban from the club, premises & events. In addition to be regarded as persona non grata.
  8. The Cane - Gentlemen favouring a cane must note that sword-sticks are still outlawed in some of the clubs territories. However, use within The Club HQ is still permitted between 9pm and dawn.
  9. Espadrilles can only be worn in the following countries:
    1. Spain
    2. Mexico
    3. Portugal
    4. Morocco.
  10. Colours for this summer: Pink, Powder Blue, Navy Blue. 

The Committee

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