Beachy Head

It's all too beautiful

As any fule kno... Beachy Head is a chalk headland on the south coast of England, close to the town of Eastbourne in the county Sussex, immediately east of the Seven Sisters. The cliff there is the highest chalk sea cliff in Britain, rising to 162 m (530 ft) above sea level. The peak allows views of the south east coast from Dungeness to the east, to Selsey Bill in the west. Its height has also made it one of the most notorious suicide spots in the world.

The name Beachy Head appears as 'Beauchef' in 1274, and was 'Beaucheif' in 1317, becoming consistently Beachy Head by 1724, and has nothing to do with beach. Instead it is a corruption of the original French words meaning "beautiful headland". In 1929 Eastbourne showed considerable foresight and bought 4,000 acres (16 km2) of land surrounding Beachy Head to save it from development at a cost of about £100,000 - an absolute bargain!

The prominence of Beachy Head has made it a landmark for sailors in the English Channel. It is noted as such in the sea shanty Spanish Ladies :

"The first land we sighted was called the Dodman,
Next Rame Head off Plymouth, off Portsmouth the Wight;
We sailed by Beachy, by Fairlight and Dover,
And then we bore up for the South Foreland light."

The ashes of German social scientist and philosopher Friedrich Engels, one of the fathers of communism, were scattered off the cliffs at Beachy Head into the Channel, as he had requested. This solemn and moving act was undoubtedly the reason for the huge proliferation of communists that live in the Eastbourne area to this very day.

The headland was a danger to shipping. In 1831 construction began on Belle Tout lighthouse on the next headland west from Beachy Head. It became operational in 1834. Due to cliff erosion, in March 1999 Belle Tout lighthouse was moved more than 50 feet (15 m) further inland.Because mist and low clouds could hide the light of Belle Tout, another lighthouse was built in the sea below Beachy Head. It was 43 m in height and became operational in October 1902. For more than 80 years, the red-and-white striped tower was manned by three lighthouse keepers. Their job was to maintain the light, which rotates two white flashes every 20 seconds was then visible 26 miles (42 km) out to sea. The lighthouse was fully automated in 1983 and the keepers withdrawn. Trinity House announced in June 2010 in the five yearly Aids to Navigation review, that the light range would be reduced to 8Nm and the fog signal discontinued. In February 2011 the work was undertaken, and light range reduced to 8Nm by the installation of a new LED navigation light system. The fog signal was discontinued at this time.

In 1653 the third day of fighting in the Battle of Portland, took place off Beachy Head during the First Anglo-Dutch War. The Battle of Beachy Head, 1690, was a naval engagement during the Nine Years' War. 250 years later during World War II, the RAF established a forward relay station at Beachy Head to improve radio communications with aircraft. In 1942, signals were picked up at Beachy Head which were identified as TV transmissions from the Eiffel Tower. The Germans had reactivated the pre-war TV transmitter and instituted a Franco-German service for military hospitals and VIPs in the Paris region. The RAF monitored these programmes hoping (in vain) to gather intelligence from newsreels, instead they only picked up dire versions of collaborators singing 'Lili Marlene'. There was also an important wartime radar station in the area and, during the Cold War, a radar control centre was operational in an underground bunker from 1953 to 1957 - allegedly!

There are an estimated 20 deaths a year at Beachy Head. The Beachy Head Chaplaincy Team conducts regular day and evening patrols of the area in attempts to locate and stop potential jumpers. Workers at the Beachy Head pub and taxi drivers are also on the look-out for potential victims, and there are posted signs with the telephone number of The Samaritans urging potential jumpers to call them. Deaths at the site are well-covered by the media; Ross Hardy, the founder of the chaplaincy team, said this encouraged people to come and jump off. Worldwide, the landmark’s suicide rate is surpassed only by the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and the Aokigahara Woods in Japan, according to Thomas Meaney of The Wall Street Journal. Which I don't suppose is something to be really proud of!

The cliff was used in the opening sequence to the 1987 James Bond film The Living Daylights, in which Bond (portrayed for the first time by Timothy Dalton - Officially the 4th best James Bond) parachuted from a jeep which overshot the top of the cliff in a scene which was scripted as being in Gibraltar.

Beachy Head was also the setting for The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" and "Close To Me" videos. It is well known for the closing scene of Quadrophenia, where Phil Daniels shoots a scooter off of the very top of Beachy Head. Local Eastbourne band The Removalists also shot the video for "Last Train to Soul Bay" at Beachy Head.

Beachy Head is briefly shown in a segment in "Many Happy Returns," an episode of the British TV series The Prisoner, starring Patrick McGoohan. When Number Six temporarily escapes from The Village, he arrives on shore beneath the cliffs of Beachy Head. After he makes his way up the cliffs, there is a brief view of the lighthouse as seen from the top of the cliff.The 2011 remake of Graham Greene's "Brighton Rock" was filmed extensively on Beachy Head as well as nearby Eastbourne, which was preferred to Brighton.

The British Romantic poet Charlotte Turner Smith published a poem entitled "Beachy Head." This prospect poem places its reader at Beachy Head and uses its expansive view to discuss nature as well as political power and cultural dominance. According to Wikipedia; Eastbourne born poet Andrew Franks includes a number of references to Beachy Head in his work including 'Belle Tout' in his collection, 'The Last of the Great British Traitors' and for once I can confirm that, that is true! (www.soulbaypress.com)

In Howard Jacobson's 2010 Man Booker Prize-winning novel, The Finkler Question, the bereaved widower Libor Sevcik commits suicide by jumping off the cliff at Beachy Head. The female protagonist in Brian Sibley's Yet Another Partridge, a radio play, throws herself off Beachy Head in despair.

Whilst it is understandable to dwell on the melancholy aspect of Beachy Head, it must also be noted that it a thing of stunning natural beauty. Stunning view and only a step away from...

Poll Results - Fred Perry Shirts

1 = Pastel Green (Red & Blue Trim)
1 = Black (with gold trim)
3 = Brown (with sky trim)
3 = Red (with blue trim)

Just What Is It that Makes Today's Homes So Different, So Appealing?

RIP Richard Hamilton

British artist Richard Hamilton, regarded as a pioneer in the field of Pop art, has died at the age of 89 following a short illness. The London-born artist's best known work was a 1956 collage featuring a body builder and a tin of ham, which earned him the title "Father of Pop".

The Gagosian Gallery, which announced his death, said the art world had "lost one of its leading lights". He was working on a major retrospective just days before he died.The exhibition is due to be seen in London, Los Angeles, Philadelphia and Madrid next year.

Tate director Sir Nicholas Serota said Hamilton died as he "would have wished", working on his art. In an interview with the BBC last year, Hamilton said: "I've always done exactly I wanted to do and I've always had the good fortune to do that."

Richard Hamilton was born in London in 1922, trained as an engineering draftsman and worked at EMI during World War II. He studied at London's Royal Academy but was expelled after defying the teacher's instructions. Hamilton went on to study at the Slade School of Fine Art, leaving in 1951.

A year later, Hamilton founded the Independent Group at the Institute of Contemporary Arts (ICA) in London, with Eduardo Paolozzi, Lawrence Alloway and several other architects. This group helped to develop English Pop Art.

In the late 1950s and early 1960s, he also taught at the Central School of Arts and Crafts and the Royal College of Art, where he was an early supporter of David Hockney. Aside from his famous collages, Hamilton also designed the cover of the Beatles' White Album and poster in 1968. Hamilton's design is the only Beatles' album cover that does not show the four band members.

The artist told how Sir Paul McCartney called him to ask him to design the new cover. Hamilton said: "Peter Blake's album sleeve (for Sgt Pepper) was crowded with people and very colourful. I thought it would be appropriate to present an album that was just white."

During his career, Hamilton exhibited at some of the world's most famous art galleries, including the Tate in London and the Guggenheim Museum in New York. His later work focused on political images, which often parodied post-war consumerism.

Serota said:

"This fascination with the consumer society was highly critical, a moral position that was also evident in his distrust of the political establishment ranging from Mrs Thatcher to Tony Blair and Hugh Gaitskell."

One of his more famous political works is Shock and Awe (2007-08) featuring Tony Blair wearing a cowboy shirt, with guns and holsters. Hamilton said he produced the image after he saw Blair "looking smug" following a conference with George Bush.In 2010, London's Serpentine Gallery exhibited Hamilton's Modern Moral Matters, which focused on his political and protest works.

Asked recently about being called the father of Pop art, Hamilton said it was not a term he aligned himself with. "While I was interested in the pop phenomenon, I never associated myself with the term, which I used to describe Elvis Presley and rather vulgar American imagery of ice cream cones or hamburgers," he said.

"However, significant things were happening in the 1950s and it seemed not only to be a cool moment but a momentous moment for humanity."

Poll Result - Best British Poet

1. Dylan Thomas
2= Percy Shelley
2= Adrian Mitchell
2= John Keats
2= Rupert Brooke
6= Ted Hughes

I was standing in a bar, where were you?

The Waste Land - T.S. Eliot

Published on this day in 1922

The Waste Land is a 434-line modernist poem by T. S. Eliot published in 1922. It has been called "one of the most important poems of the 20th century." Despite the poem's obscurity — its shifts between satire and prophecy, its abrupt and unannounced changes of speaker, location and time, its elegiac but intimidating summoning up of a vast and dissonant range of cultures and literatures — the poem has become a familiar touchstone of modern literature. Among its more famous phrases are "April is the cruellest month" (its first line); "I will show you fear in a handful of dust"; and (its last line) the mantra in the Sanskrit language "Shantih shantih shantih." What follows is, what follows...

V. What the Thunder Said

After the torchlight red on sweaty faces
After the frosty silence in the gardens
After the agony in stony places
The shouting and the crying
Prison and palace and reverberation
Of thunder of spring over distant mountains
He who was living is now dead
We who were living are now dying
With a little patience

Here is no water but only rock
Rock and no water and the sandy road
The road winding above among the mountains
Which are mountains of rock without water
If there were water we should stop and drink
Amongst the rock one cannot stop or think
Sweat is dry and feet are in the sand
If there were only water amongst the rock
Dead mountain mouth of carious teeth that cannot spit
Here one can neither stand nor lie nor sit
There is not even silence in the mountains
But dry sterile thunder without rain
There is not even solitude in the mountains
But red sullen faces sneer and snarl
From doors of mudcracked houses
If there were water
And no rock
If there were rock
And also water
And water
A spring
A pool among the rock
If there were the sound of water only
Not the cicada
And dry grass singing
But sound of water over a rock
Where the hermit-thrush sings in the pine trees
Drip drop drip drop drop drop drop
But here there is no water

Who is the third who walks always beside you?
When I count, there are only you and I together
But when I look ahead, up the white road
There is always another one walking beside you,
Gliding wrapt in a brown mantle, hooded
I do not know whether a man or a woman
--But who is that on the other side of you?

What is that sound high in the air
Murmur of maternal lamentation
Who are those hooded hordes swarming
Over endless plains, stumbling in cracked earth
Ringed by the flat horizon only
What is the city over the mountains
Cracks and reforms and bursts in violet air
Falling towers
Jerusalem Athens Alexandria
Vienna London
Unreal
A woman drew her long black hair out tight
And fiddled whisper music on those strings
And bats with baby faces in the violet light
Whistled, and beat their wings
And crawled head downward down a blackened wall
And upside down in air were towers
Tolling reminiscent bells, that kept the hours
And voices singing out of empty cisterns and exhausted wells.

In this decayed hole among the mountains,
In the faint moonlight, the grass is singing
Over the tumbled graves, about the chapel
There is the empty chapel, only the wind's home.
It has no windows, and the door swings,
Dry bones can harm no one.
Only a cock stood on the rooftree
Co co rico co co rico
In a flash of lightning. Then a damp gust
Bringing rain

Ganga was sunken, and the limp leaves
Waited for rain, while the black clouds
Gathered far distant, over Himavant.
The jungle crouched, humped in silence.
Then spoke the thunder
DA
Datta: what have we given?
My friend, blood shaking my heart
The awful daring of a moment's surrender
Which an age of prudence can never retract,
By this, and this only, we have existed,
Which is not to be found in our obituaries
Or in memories draped by the beneficent spider
Or under seals broken by the lean solicitor
In our empty rooms
DA
Dayadhvam: I have heard the key
Turn in the door once and turn once only
We think of the key, each in his prison
Thinking of the key, each confirms his prison
Only at nightfall, aethereal rumors
Revive for a moment a broken Coriolanus
DA
Damyata: the boat responded
Gaily, to the hand expert with sail and oar
The sea was calm, your heart would have responded
Gaily, when invited, beating obedient
To controlling hands

I sat upon the shore
Fishing, with the arid plain behind me
Shall I at least set my lands in order?
London bridge is falling down falling down falling down
Poi s'ascose nel foco che gli affina
Quando fiam uti chelidon--O swallow swallow
Le prince d'Aquitaine à la tour abolie
These fragments I have shored against my ruins
Why then Ile fit you. Hieronymo's mad againe.
Da. Dayadhvam. Damyata.
Shantih shantih shantih

"And death shall have no dominion" - Dylan Thomas

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

“”From "And death shall have no dominion"
Twenty-five Poems (1936)

All back to my place

In which AF reveals the sonic delights guaranteed to get him going...

What music are you currently grooving to?
I’m always buying music, following up recommendations or reviews. So, currently I’ve gone back and rediscovered the Kyoto Jazz Massive, Anne Briggs and ESG. I’m also listening to the Ghostpoet album, Kraftwerk, & Neu. As well as the Arctic Monkeys and Miles Kane albums to cover off the suited & booted mod rock angle.

What, if push comes to shove is your all time favourite album?
I always say it is most probably All Mod Cons by The Jam, it had such a strong influence on me at the time and opened me up to poetry, love, feedback, Rickenbackers and a healthy dose of cynicism. Although on any given day it could be Fabulous by Prince Buster, Y by The Pop Group or Sextet by ACR.

What was the first record you ever bought? And where did you buy it?
I bought two T.Rex 7” singles at the same time from upstairs at Boots in Eastbourne. 20th Century Boy & Solid Gold Easy Action, both had the red & blue matching sleeve & label with Marc Bolan's face on it. Top tunes!

Which musician have you wanted to be?
For too many years I had a rather unhealthy obsession with all things Paul Weller (he was like the elder brother I didn’t have). But since growing up a little and appreciating musicians for other than their wardrobe I would be quite happy being Johnny Marr or Morrissey, Damon Albarn or Graham Coxon, Joe Strummer or Slim Gaillard, Bert Jansch, Mark E Smith or Wild Billy Childish or any member of A Certain Ratio.

What do you sing in the shower?
Often a hotchpotch of nonsense, sort of Kurt Schwitters meets The Temptations. Failing that I often sing; Human Touch by Pocketsize, Sunset Coming On by Albarn on Mali Music plus a mangled version of either Louie Louie or Fever.

What is your favourite Saturday night record?
Don’t make me wait by The Peech Boys makes me feel damn funky, Louie Louie never fails to gee me up and Capital Radio by The Clash has a similar effect!

And your Sunday morning record?
Sunday Morning by The Velvets of course. Or more likely a heavy blast of reggae especially; Augustus Pablo, Linton Kwesi Johnson or Reggae Chartbusters vol 2 (Longshot, It mek, Reggae in your jeggae etc). Concorde by Modern Jazz Quartet is in the mix too, but most probably better on a Monday morning!


(Thank you to Mojo Magazine for allowing the reproduction of this interview).

Poll Results - Best album of all time

1. Marvin Gaye - What's Going On
2. The Ramones - The Ramones
3. Never Mind the Bollocks - Sex Pistols
4. The Clash - The Clash
5. King Tubby meets rockers in a fire house - King Tubby

The 13 best albums of all time - #2

Sextet - A Certain Ratio

1. Lucinda
2. Crystal
3. Gum
4. Knife slits water
5. Skipscada
6. Day One
7. Rub down
8. Rialto
9. Below the canal

Sextet is the sound of a band throwing off their long overcoats and reaching out for distant rhythms, be it a shuffling samba beat or a funkier groove - either way it is clear that the band aren't in Moss Side anymore. Sextet arrived after the initially disappointing debut LP 'Too Each' had left ACR's followers unsure whether they were a morose Joy Division cover band or an underpowered funk band.

The opening track Lucinda made it apparent that the band had grown on two levels, firstly the production and groove was in the right place and more intriguingly the band had been enhanced by the addition of Martha Tilson (who allegedly jumped up and joined the band onstage in New York and didn't leave until two years later). Her ethereal/innocent vocals lent a distinctly different feel to the ACR sound and succeeded in clearly delineating them from their more moribund labelmates.

From there on in, the oneness of the album creates a truly hypnotic soundtrack. Taking the listener on a trip through the backstreets of the city at night. The sound of gentle raindrops, water running, piano sprinkled across sparse percussion, horns and klaxons fading in and out of the mix, all the time being driven by the Johnson/Kerr rhythm axis.

Stand out track 'Knife slits water' is still a very powerful song, with the compelling juxtaposition of Tilson's out of kilter vocals and some ferocious bass combining to make a remarkable sound. Unlike the first album, the wayward horn section punctuates the spaces perfectly and the judicious use of echo & reverb proved the influence of 'Y' by The Pop Group had not been forgotten.

In some ways the second side is even better with the trippy 'Skipscada' tumbling into 'Day One', 'Rub down' and 'Rialto' with each track merging and blending into the other. A heady dubby quartet indeed...

All in all, Sextet stands up as a wonderfully complete piece of work and is not out of place on a Saturday night dancefloor, Sunday morning comedown session or a sunny Monday morning turntable.

Poll Results - How to spell New York?

A knife, a fork, a bottle & a cork...

That is the way you spell New York!

The 13 best albums of all time - #1

All Mod Cons - The Jam

From the scratch that heralds the 1,2,3,4 count of the title track to the fade out of the Central Line tube bound for Ealing Broadway, every track of 'All Mod Cons' echoes down the years with the refreshing arrogance of youth mixed with the tender frailty and exuberance of first love.

The explosive attack of The Jam's debut album 'In the city' had been swiftly followed up by their second LP 'This is the modern world', which whilst featuring a couple of standout track (The Modern World & Here comes the weekend) had left the majority of crirtics and punters alike wondering if Paul Weller (Lead singer/guitarist & prime songwriter) had what it took to break out of the already tightening constraints of punk orthodoxy.

All Mod Cons not only proved that Weller did have the nous, skill and vision to change direction but that by doing so he could take the late 70's UK music scene by the scruff of the neck and galvanise a whole generation of followers to embrace a musical tradition that went back to the sixties sounds of The Who, Kinks & Small Faces. Whilst at the same time toughening them up for the hardships of Thatcherism and the 80's that were just around the corner.

1. All Mod Cons
The opening track sets the tone perfectly for what comes next. Clipped, purposeful and knowing. A short attack on time wasters and their ilk. No sooner has the clear Rickenbacker cut through than the track's ending feedback segues neatly into...

2. To be someone
What intially seems like a straightforward attack on the hoary old rock gods living on past glories, the boring old rocker of yore now content to piss it all up the wall in the comforting company of cronies and groupies. Actually turns out to be (with the benefit of hindsight)a more compassionate reflection on the transient nature of fame.

3. Mr Clean
Another full frontal attack, this time on a typical 'suit'. Weller's snarling put down of the nine to fiver implies quite clearly that a life of 'getting pissed at the annual office do" is nothing to be proud of.

4. David Watts
A bouncy cover of Ray Davies' Kinks classic. David Watts is the captain of the team, head boy and all round lucky git. The shared Weller/Foxton vocals work well, one of the few examples where a cover version most probably improves on the original.

5. English Rose
Originally regarded as a 'hidden track' by Weller. A soft acoustic ballad that showed a tender side that allowed young punks & mods everywhere to admit that perhaps there was more to girls than just pushing in front of them in bus queues.

6. In the crowd
'In the crowd' was most probably the biggest musical step forward that The Jam had taken to date. An intricate sub-psychedelic track that portrayed the protagonist as an outsider and harked back to their debut album's stand out track 'Away from the numbers'.

Side 2
1. Billy Hunt
Weller's daydreaming anti-Watts gets side two off to a blistering start.

2. It's too bad
Another jaunty song of failing love, carried along on Foxton's poppy bass run.

3. Fly
A second outing for Weller's 12 string acoustic and another hymn to the intoxicating beauty of first love.

4. The place I love
Whether it was about Woking, England or a mythical Albion 'The place I love' is a positively joyous track and another example of Weller aiming to distance himself from the punk elite and "not within a yard of their trendy do's".

5. A-Bomb in Wardour Street
DOCTOR MARTENS A-P-O-C-A-L-Y-P-S-E!!

6. Down in the tube station at midnight
According to Tony Blackburn it was a tawdry celebration of violence. According to everyone else it was The Jam's finest hour!

All Mod Cons was quite simply the sound of swinging London and suburban Surrey being pepped up with an amphetamine surge that knocked all contenders into a safety pin covered cocked hat. With one album they went from middle of the pack to the front of the line and they stayed there (with a couple of wobbles) until Weller pulled the pin in 82 and headed off to a Cappuccino flavoured future!

Oh I say...

England number one test playing nation? Are you serious?

It would seem that they are.

Meanwhile, in downtown Tottenham there is a Sly & the Family Stone album going on.

When summer turns bad...

Long days, light nights, warm throb of youth overheating on the Leys estate or in Toxteth or Tottenham or Moss Side. One little spark and the whole tinderbox goes up!

Kah-boom!

Poll Results - Thing we miss most about England

1 - Friends
2 - Football
3 - Family

New Fall album imminent

Must be time, surely...

Crackdown, dull glow
from laptop reveals
horrors, horrors
and the dull thump
of a bedroom discotheque
at the end of the terrace

they are not coming today
but they are coming
they are coming
are coming
coming
soon

The freedom of the press

To do as they please?

Maybe, just maybe things are changing... Even if it is only for a day!

Home of the Hits

3747 and rising!

Thank you...

The thrill of shopping

In the early 80's it was impossible to buy Big E levis, button down Ben Sherman shirts or even proper Clark's Desert Boots. You had to hunt the length and breadth of the country for the sniff of one of these original items.

"Have you heard about the mythical charity shop in Brighton that's got a whole box of button down Ben Sherman's?"
"There's a place in Bath that sells Big E's."

Such snippets of crucial information would be passed on at gigs or football matches only to the selected few. Many leads would turn out to be false but some did bring success. A pair of faded Big E's in Camberwell being a particularly memorable find.

But now of course you can get rare Lee Stormrider jackets, Big E's and a million different shades of Ben Sherman's all at the touch of the return button. I'm not saying that it is necessarily a bad thing. Just that it is now a different experience and one that takes away a little of the pleasure that wearing the right clothes should always bring.

Wimbledon

"...Championship point!"

Fred Perry, Dan Maskell, Lemon barley water, Bjorn Borg, Roger Taylor (no, not him out of Queen), Evonne Cawley, Roger Federer, Henri Leconte, Roscoe Tanner from Lookout Mountain Tennessee, The Graveyard of the Champions, Pimms, late night doubles matches featuring Frew McMillan & Bob Hewitt, David Vine, the resplendently miserable Ivan Lendl, Jeremy Bates, Betty Stove, Ilie Nastase and of course Des...

Music Shop Hell

Enter a music shop these days and the first thing that will happen is this… After a respectful period of time to acclimatise to the well lit environs and pleasant low volume clatter, tinkle & hum of assorted instruments being respectfully put through their paces, you’ll be greeted by a helpful shop assistant asking if you were ok or if they can give you any advice. Which leads one to immediately raise the not unrealistic question in one’s own mind; what sort of tomfoolery, skulduggery and out and out weird buggery is this?

I don’t expect my general health or well-being to be in anyway an item of concern for the patch bearded, heavily tatted beanpole sales ‘consultant’. Nor am I in anyway expecting any sort of advice from him on anything. Have I stumbled into MacDonalds for music? Is this the KFC of Rock?

When I go into a music store I expect the following five things to be present without fail.

1 – A deafening wall of sound to be emanating from the back of the shop, where the three shop assistants are storming through a set of quite ludicrously precise King Crimson covers.

2 – A small but uncompromisingly menacing coterie of girl friends and leather clad proto Hells Angels are listening with one ear whilst rolling up the largest doobie to have been constructed since Jimi rolled a whopper at Monterey (Please insert your own ‘maan!’ exclamation at this point).

3 – The overpowering stench of stale cigarettes, Lynx (for gits) and burnt rizlas mingling with the smell of damp carpet and overflowing toilet.

4 – A wall covered with flying V’s and Gibson Les Pauls, another wall packed with studded straps and skull ‘n cross bone motif gig bags and one wall with a broken glass cabinet propped in front of it featuring a till, an entry level Kays Kiddiecaster (sans strings/neck/pickups) lying underneath a sheaf of unpaid invoices and an ashtray made out of the remains of a melted wah-wah pedal.

5 – A small stand featuring sheet music, balsa wood acoustic guitars recorders & melodicas.

Nothing else!

I don’t expect help, information, a wide array of mint condition Rickenbackers, Gretschs & Fender Jaguars to choose from! I expect to be ignored, sneered at, ripped off and dismissed. So, I am starting a ‘campaign for the return to arsey music/persecution shops with obligatory longhaired stroppy muso shop assistants who belittle you at every turn!

CRAMPS begin here!

Punk Rock Tear Ups

Going round to a friends armed with a clutch of 7" singles and blasting them out the window, down the street, through the station, beyond the pub, over Marine Parade, over the beach and out there to the wild blue yonder!!!

Top 5 Tear Up Tunes
1. We are all Prostitutes - The Pop Group
2. Complete Control - The Clash
3. In the City - The Jam
4. Smash it Up - The Damned
5. City Hobgoblins - The 'Mighty' Fall

Captain Scarlet & The Mysterons

This is the future, our future:

With the curtains drawn, french windows open and the low hum of a lawnmower cutting through the spring calm, I was transported every Saturday morning to my future, our future.

The year is 2068… A team of Zero-X astronauts are investigating the surface of Mars after unidentified radio signals emanating from the planet are detected on Earth. The source is discovered to be an extraterrestrial base, which is attacked and destroyed when the explorers mistake a harmless sensor device for a weapon. The inhabitants of the settlement, the Mysterons, are sentient computers that form a collective consciousness. They are the remnants of the original Mysteron race, extraterrestrial life forms that originated in a galaxy other than the Milky Way and maintained their colony on Mars for 3,500 years before understandably abandoning the planet at the turn of the 20th century. Possessing a rather handy partial control over matter, the Mysteron computers draw on their power of "reversing matter" to rebuild the complex before vowing revenge for the unwarranted aggression.

Reversing matter, also described as "retro-metabolism", allows the Mysterons to re-create the likeness of a person or object in the form of a facsimile that is under their control. This ability is used to conduct a "war of nerves" against Earth, in which the Mysterons issue threats against specific targets (from world leaders and military installations to whole cities and continents) and then destroy and reconstruct whatever instruments are required (whether human or machine) to execute their plans. The presence of the Mysterons is indicated by two circles of green light (the "Mysteron rings") that trail across scenes of destruction and reconstruction. Although the Mysterons are able to manipulate events from Mars, their actions on Earth are usually performed by their replicated intermediaries.

The leading Mysteron agent is of course Zero-X mission leader Captain Black. He is killed and reconstructed during the incident on Mars. Previously, Black had held the rank of senior officer in Spectrum, an international security organisation inaugurated in 2067 that mobilises all its personnel, vehicles and other resources in response to the Mysteron threat. Spectrum is led from Cloudbase, an airborne headquarters positioned at a height of 40,000 feet above the Earth's surface, and has outposts in all major cities. The organisation employs operatives of many nationalities, of whom the most senior hold military ranks and colour-based codenames, are stationed on Cloudbase, and answer directly to the commander-in-chief of Spectrum, Colonel White. Cloudbase is defended by the Angels, an interceptor aircraft squadron, and the organisation boasts a fleet of Spectrum Pursuit Vehicles (SPV) hidden in secret locations across the world.

Captain Scarlet becomes Spectrum's foremost weapon in its fight against the Mysterons after the battle on Mars, in which the Mysterons threaten to assassinate the World President as their first act of retaliation. The original Scarlet is killed in a car accident engineered by the Mysterons and replaced with a Mysteron reconstruction. However, when the Scarlet duplicate is shot by Spectrum officer Captain Blue and falls to his death from a tall structure, it returns to life with the consciousness of its human template restored, and is thereafter free from Mysteron control. Scarlet's ex-Mysteron body possesses two remarkable abilities: he is able to sense the presence of other Mysteron duplicates in his vicinity, and if he is injured or killed, retro-metabolism restores him to a state of top health. Now able to deploy suicidally reckless tactics to thwart Mysteron threats, Scarlet repeatedly braves the pain of death in the knowledge that he will recover to face the Mysterons once more. (As an aside it should be noted that the existential horror of perpetual life was never explored in too much detail…)

While Scarlet and Spectrum defend Earth against the threat from Mars, it is found that Mysteron reconstructions are particularly vulnerable to electricity and that they are detectable on X-rays, to which their biology is impervious. Consequently, two anti-Mysteron devices, the "Mysteron Gun" and the "Mysteron Detector," are developed to aid Spectrum. A three-episode story arc charts the uncovering of a second Mysteron complex under construction on the Moon, its destruction by Spectrum, and efforts to negotiate with the Mysterons on Mars via a crystal power source, salvaged from the complex, which is converted into an interplanetary communication device. A failed attempt at satellite surveillance of the Martian surface, aborted military conferences and the sabotaged construction of a new space fleet hinder Spectrum's plans to return to Mars, and the organisation is unsuccessful on two occasions in apprehending Captain Black. The penultimate episode of the series depicts a Mysteron assault on Cloudbase with the use of armed spacecraft, which is ultimately revealed to be a nightmare dreamt by one of the Angel pilots. The finale is a flashback episode that ends inconclusively with regards to the war between Earth and Mars and the fate of Spectrum and the Mysterons.

The real names of the Spectrum officers who gave their all to protect us from the Mysteron threat…

Codename, Real name, Nationality
Captain Scarlet, Paul Metcalfe, British
Captain Blue, Adam Svenson, American
Colonel White, Charles Gray, British
Captain Black, Conrad Turner, British
Lieutenant Green,Seymour Griffiths, Trinidadian
Captain Ochre, Richard Fraser, American
Captain Magenta, Patrick Donaghue, Irish
Captain Grey, Bradley Holden, American
Doctor Fawn, Edward Wilkie, Australian
Destiny Angel, Juliette Pontoin, French
Symphony Angel, Karen Wainwright, American
Rhapsody Angel, Dianne Simms, British
Melody Angel, Magnolia Jones, American
Harmony Angel, Chan Kwan, Japanese

Smarties (Take 2)

You'd be foolish not to... Well, it is the Easter Weekend coming up!

Dreamtime...

Tangerine dusk, slipping into the old bus depot
with only one journey on my mind...

The Art of being an English Gentlemen (part 8)

Roll over, roll back, inhale & recall...

A month or so of sobriety botched in a thrice. Rummage through mohair jacket to find a boarding pass, some dollars and a pair of black persol sunglasses. Plonk sunglasses on, throw blinds open, recoil in horror at the city below and plunge into white hot shower. Resurface 20 minutes later in black merino turtle neck, slate grey mohair suit, stout black brogues, head back to bedroom to find dark brown arm floating up from under the sheets.

Kiss arm and still raw lips, make excuses and head to the nearest bar with the longest champagne list. Start at the beginning and plough on through...

A snatched memory of an air hostess and a late night bar. That's fine, that's good. The only question is...

What am I doing in Istanbul?

Poll Results - Bond Villains

"No Mister Bond, I expect you to die!"

1 - Ernst Stavro Blofeld
2 - Sir Hugo Drax
3 - Goldfinger
4 - Dr No
5 - Count Lippe

James Bond novel #3 - Moonraker

Without doubt Moonraker is the most underestimated of the Bond novels, probably because it was one of the few early books that wasn’t adapted for film until much later (and a fairly lamentable adaptation it was too, with Roger Moore gooning his way through a very poor script and the normally excellent Michael Lonsdale playing a demented Drax).

The novel begins with M asking James Bond to investigate the multi-millionaire businessman Sir Hugo Drax, who is winning a lot of money playing bridge at M's favourite club, Blades. M suspects Drax of cheating, but although claiming indifference, he is concerned why a multi-millionaire and national hero, such as Sir Hugo, would cheat at a card game. Bond confirms Drax's deception and manages to "cheat the cheater" — aided by a cocktail of powdered Benzedrine mixed with non-vintage champagne and a deck of stacked cards — winning £15,000 and infuriating the out-smarted Drax.

Drax is the product of a mysterious background, unknown even to himself (allegedly). As a supposed British soldier in WWII, he was badly injured, and stricken with amnesia, in the explosion of a bomb planted by a German saboteur at his field headquarters. After extensive rehabilitation in an army hospital, however, he would eventually return home to become a major aerospace industrialist.

Now, Drax and his firm are building the "Moonraker", Britain's first nuclear missile project, intended to defend the United Kingdom against its Cold War enemies (c.f. the real Blue Streak missile). Essentially, the Moonraker rocket is an upgraded V-2 rocket using liquid hydrogen and fluorine as propellants. It can withstand the ultra-high combustion temperatures in its engine thanks to the use of columbite, of which Drax has a monopoly. Therefore, because the rocket's engine can withstand higher heat, the Moonraker can use more powerful fuels, greatly expanding its effective range.

After a Ministry of Supply security officer working at the project is shot dead, M assigns Bond to replace him, and also to investigate what may be going on at the missile-building base, which is located between Dover and Deal on the coast of England. Oddly, all of the rocket scientists working on the project seem to be German.

At his post on the complex (where he is billeted in the Drax mansion), Bond meets Gala Brand, a beautiful Special Branch agent working undercover as Personal Assistant to Drax. He also uncovers some clues concerning his predecessor's death, concluding that the former Security Chief might have been killed for witnessing the clandestine delivery of some secret cargo by submarine off the coast.

Drax's henchman Krebs is caught by Bond while he snoops through his room. Later, an attempted assassination nearly kills Bond and Gala under a landslide, as they swim beneath the Dover cliffs. Drax takes Gala to London where she discovers the truth about the "Moonraker" (by comparing her own launch trajectory figures with those in a notebook picked from Drax's pocket) - but she is caught. She soon finds herself captive at a secret radio station (intended to serve as a beacon for the missile's guidance system) in the heart of London. While attempting to rescue her in a car chase, Bond is captured, as well.

It turns out that Drax was never a British soldier and has never suffered from amnesia. In fact, he was a German commander of a Skorzeny commando unit and the saboteur (in British uniform) Graf Hugo von der Drache who set the bomb at the army field headquarters, only to be injured, himself, in the detonation. The amnesia story was simply a cover he used while recovering in hospital, in order to avoid allied retribution - though it would lead to a whole new British identity. Drax, however, remains a dedicated Nazi, bent on revenge against England for the wartime defeat of his Third Reich Fatherland and his prior history of social slights he suffered as a youth growing up in England before the war. He now means to destroy London with the very missile he has constructed for Britain, by means of a Soviet supplied nuclear warhead that has been secretly fitted to the "Moonraker". He also plays the stock market the day before to make a huge profit from the planned disaster.

Brand and Bond are imprisoned under the Moonraker's booster engines so as to leave no trace of them once the Moonraker is launched. But before this first (supposedly un-armed) test firing, Bond and Gala escape. Gala gives Bond the proper coordinates to reprogram the gyros and send the Moonraker into the sea. Having been in collaboration with Soviet Intelligence all along, Drax and his henchman attempt to escape by Russian submarine - only to be killed as the vessel flees through the very waters onto which the "Moonraker" has been re-targeted.

Later, after their de-briefing at headquarters, Bond meets up with Gala, expecting her company - but they part ways after Gala reveals that she is engaged to be married. It is the only Bond novel (discounting some of the short stories) in which Bond does not end up having a romantic relationship with the girl.

Moonraker is my favourite Bond novel, not least because there are no cinematic comparisons to blur the imagination. The Kent setting also resonates. In later years I couldn’t help but try and draw some comparisons between Sir Hugo Drax and Robert Maxwell, although for all of his many failings Maxwell was certainly never a Nazi!

Not a lot of people know that: The first adaption of Moonraker was on South African radio in 1956, with Bob Holness providing the voice of Bond. “I’ll have a consonant please M.”

Home of the Hits

2000 and rising. Thank you very much!

Dreaming - How I should live!

I should be living by the sea, only watching the BBC. Sitting on a 1950's sofa, whilst wearing Bass Weejun loafers. I should be painting angry self portraits, I should be riding a 1940's bicycle, listening to old blues on a battered dansette or grooving to hip tunes that I haven't written yet.

I should be living a purer life of honest endeavour with a beatnik wife. I should be writing stuff that rhymes, instead of stuff that wastes your time.

I should be living like this.

Teenbeats

Hastings' finest, the Teenbeats formed in 1979 their line up was - Huggy Leaver (vocals), Ken Copsey (lead guitar), Paul Thomas (rhythm guitar, vocals), Eddie Mays (bass), and Dave Blackman (drums).

The Teenbeats were one of the better bands on Britain's late '70s mod revival scene. Their timing was impeccable, making their debut just as the mod revival was gathering steam -- they further fired up the movement with a fine cover of the Troggs' 60's hit "I Can't Control Myself", and followed this up with the even better self-penned "Strength Of A Nation". Safari released both 45's, however ,neither single made a real impact on the UK charts but they did score a hit in Canada.

Teenbeats had the attitude, the look and by far away the best button badge/logo! They snarled away at the punky end of the mod sound but sadly they never recorded a complete LP. However, their songs made it onto many a mod revival compilation. Including; 'Uppers On The South Downs' & 'Mod City'. Most recently Castle Records' released 2003 Mod Revival Generation: Time For Action.

Live they were a very different proposition to their tamer studio sound. Huggy (ex lead singer of semi legendary punk combo The Plastix) was a hugely charisamtic front man and his sheer force of personality would often galvanise even the most reluctant audience into a frenzy. Normally, that was not an issue though as the Hastings/Eastbourne Mods were a pretty vocal mob and needed no encouragement to roar along with the band. I was fortunate enough to see them a fair few times and apart from when they ruled the roost on Hastings Pier, their best gig was at The Dublin Castle, supported by The Lambrettas. They blew the place apart. Fantastic!

Rumour has it that a reformation is in the offing. It's just a pity that Hastings Pier is no longer there to host it!

Small point of interest. Huggy went on to appear in Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels as one of the other 'firm'. Not a lot of people know that!

Dreams

When I was younger and living on the other side of the world. I would dream I was flying above my home town. Skimming from rooftop to rooftop (Sans Umbrella). I can still clearly recall looking down on to Langney roundabout and over to the Catholic Church and then back down Pevensey Bay Road.

According to a dream dictionary...

You first start dreaming of flying when you are 3 to 5 years old. It is a very common dream, though less prevalent in adults. More than one third of the dreaming population has dreamed of flying one time or the other.
* Flying dreams have a positive link with relief from tension and nightmares.
* Lucid dreamers tend to have twice as much of flying dreams.
* An intense emotional condition can also trigger off a flying dream
* The dreams are not exclusive to the post flying machines era.
* They feature in dream books of Babylonian and Egyptian civilizations.
* Creative thinkers have more flying dreams

Stuff and nonsense? It may well be, dream interpretations always seem to come back to the same themes. All I know is that I used to like it when I could fly!

James Bond Novels # 2 - Live & Let Die

James Bond is sent to New York City to investigate "Mr. Big", an underworld voodoo leader who is suspected by M of selling 17th century gold coins to finance Soviet spy operations in America. These gold coins have been turning up in Harlem and Florida and are suspected of being part of a treasure that was buried in Jamaica by the Welsh pirate Sir Henry Morgan. Although Bond is at first reluctant to take on the mission, his attitude quickly changes upon learning that Mr. Big is an agent of SMERSH and that this mission offers him a chance of retaliation for previously being tortured by SMERSH operative Le Chiffre and having a Russian (Cyrilic) letter carved into the back of his hand by a SMERSH assassin in Casino Royale.

In New York, Bond meets up with his counterpart in the CIA, Felix Leiter. The two decide to visit some of Mr. Big's nightclubs in Harlem, but Mr. Big is aware of their movements through his network of informers and they are easily captured. Bond is personally interrogated by Mr. Big, who uses his fortune telling-girlfriend, Solitaire, to determine if Bond is telling the truth. Solitaire lies to Mr. Big, supporting Bond's cover story. Mr. Big decides to release Bond and Felix with only a mild beating, and has one of his men break one of Bond's fingers by pulling it backward until it snaps, but Bond then escapes and kills several of Mr. Big's men in the process. Leiter is released by a sympathetic gang member who shares his love of jazz.

Solitaire later contacts Bond and they travel to St. Petersburg, Florida. While Bond and Leiter are scouting one of Mr. Big's warehouses that is used for storing exotic fish, Solitaire is kidnapped by Mr. Big's minions. Felix later returns to the warehouse by himself, but is either captured and fed to a shark or tricked into standing on a trap door over the shark tank. He survives, losing an arm and a leg. Bond finds him in their safe house with a note pinned to his chest "He disagreed with something that ate him". After getting Felix to the hospital, Bond investigates the warehouse himself, and discovers that Mr. Big is indeed smuggling gold by placing it in the bottom of fish tanks holding poisonous tropical fish. Bond destroys much of the warehouse and then causes Mr. Big's gunman (the "Robber") to fall into the shark tank without leaving evidence that he has discovered the coin-smuggling scheme.

Bond continues his mission in Jamaica where he meets Quarrel and John Strangways, the head of the MI6 station in Jamaica. Quarrel gives Bond training in scuba diving in the local waters. Bond swims through shark and barracuda infested waters to Mr. Big's island and manages to plant a limpet mine on the hull of his yacht before being captured once again by Mr. Big. In the grand finale, Mr. Big ties Solitaire and Bond to a line behind his yacht and plans to drag them over the shallow coral reef and into deeper water so that the sharks and barracuda that he attracts in to the area with regular feedings will eat them.

Bond and Solitaire are saved when the limpet mine explodes moments before they are dragged over the reef: though temporarily stunned by the explosion and injured on the coral Bond and Solitaire are protected from the explosion by the reef, and Bond watches as Mr. Big, who survived the explosion, is killed by the sharks and barracuda. Bond and Solitaire then stay in Jamaica for a brief holiday in the book's close.

Ian Fleming intended the follow-up to Casino Royale to be of a more serious tone, a meditation on the nature of evil. The novel's original title, The Undertaker's Wind, reflects this. Fleming conducted research for Live and Let Die and completed it before Casino Royale was published; his publishers had offered him a contract for three books following Royale's popularity. Drawing from personal experiences, the opening with Bond's arrival at New York's Idlewild Airport was inspired by Fleming's own arrivals in 1941 and 1953. Also, the warehouse at which Felix Leiter is attacked by a shark was based on a warehouse Fleming had visited in 1953.

One of the weaker Bond novels, Live & let die betrays a barely concealed racist view of Black American and Jamaican culture that leaves the modern reader more than a little uncomfortable. Fleming's belief that Britain could save a decadent and addled American society from Communist infiltration through the hard graft of just one man is now quite an amusing construct though.

Poll Results - Bond novels (Part 1)

1= Casino Royale
1= From Russia with Love
3. Diamonds are forever
4. Live & let die

James Bond Novels - Casino Royale

The first of Ian Fleming's Bond novels, Casino Royale was apparently written in response to the looming shadow of getting married and the impending 'castration' from all the good things in life.

He started working on it in January 1952. At the time, Fleming was the Foreign Manager for Kemsley Newspapers, an organisation owned by The Sunday Times. Upon accepting the job, Fleming sensibly requested that he be allowed two months vacation per year. Every year thereafter, until his death in 1964, Fleming would retreat for the first two months of the year to his Jamaican estate, Goldeneye, to write a James Bond book.

Fleming used all aspects of his life as inspiration when writing: Every acquaintance of Ian Fleming ran the risk of ending up in one of his Bond books, and almost every character in his fiction is based on a real person, even if only by name. He plucked these monikers from his social circle, his memory, his reading, his favourite newspaper, the Jamaica Gleaner, and his imagination: old school friends (and enemies), clubmen, colleagues in the City and Fleet Street, golfing partners, girlfriends and others found themselves transported into Fleming’s fiction. The fact that my father's name Peter Franks appears in Diamonds are Forever, was always an intriguing adjunct to my fascination with the Bond novels.

Between 1953 and 1966, twelve James Bond novels and two short story collections by Fleming were published, including one novel and one collection issued posthumously. (It is still argued whether Fleming himself actually finished 1965's The Man with the Golden Gun, as he died very soon after it is known to have been completed.)

In Casino Royale MI6 assigns James Bond, Special Agent 007, to bankrupt Le Chiffre, the paymaster for a SMERSH-controlled trade union, in a high-stakes baccarat game at the Royale-Les-Eaux casino. With him is Vesper Lynd, an MI6 accountant sent to make sure Bond handles the agency's money properly. He initially thinks of her as a nuisance, but over time grows to have romantic feelings for her.

The game soon turns into a one-on-one confrontation between Le Chiffre and Bond that soon bankrupts the latter. As Bond contemplates killing Le Chiffre outright, he is approached by CIA agent Felix Leiter, who offers to stake Bond for another hand. Bond accepts the offer and eventually wins the game, taking from Le Chiffre tens of millions of francs belonging to SMERSH. Desperate, Le Chiffre kidnaps Lynd and subjects Bond to brutal torture, threatening to kill them both if he does not get the money back. Suddenly, a SMERSH assassin bursts in and kills Le Chiffre as punishment for losing the money, saving Bond's life.

Lynd visits Bond every day as he recuperates in the hospital, and he gradually realizes that he loves her; he even contemplates leaving Her Majesty's Secret Service to settle down with her. When Bond is released, they go on holiday together, and eventually become lovers. One day, they see a mysterious man named Gettler tracking their movements, which greatly distresses Vesper. The following morning, Bond finds that Lynd has committed suicide, leaving behind a note explaining that she had been working as an unwilling double agent for the MVD. SMERSH had kidnapped her lover, a Polish RAF pilot, who had revealed information about her under torture; SMERSH then used that information to blackmail her into helping them undermine Bond's mission, including her own faked kidnapping. She had tried to start a life with Bond, but upon seeing Gettler — a SMERSH agent — she realized that she would never be free of her tormentors, and that staying with Bond would only put him in danger.

Bond copes with the loss by renouncing Lynd as a traitor and going back to work as if nothing has happened, coldly telling M, "The bitch is dead now." Nevertheless, subsequent novels reveal that he never truly gets over her death; in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, for example, it is revealed that he makes an annual pilgrimage to Royale-Les-Eaux to visit her grave, while in Diamonds Are Forever, he avoids listening to "La Vie en Rose", a song closely associated with Lynd in Casino Royale.

Fleming stated that Casino Royale was inspired by certain incidents that took place during his career at the Naval Intelligence Division of the Admiralty. Childhood friend Brett Hart was the basis for the novel, including a trip to Lisbon that Fleming and the Director of Naval Intelligence, Admiral Godfrey, took during World War II en route to the United States.

While there, they went to the Estoril Casino in Estoril, which (due to the neutral status of Portugal) had a number of spies of warring regimes present. Fleming claimed that while there he was cleaned out by a "chief German agent" at a table playing chemin de fer. Admiral Godfrey tells a different story: Fleming only played Portuguese businessmen and that afterwards Fleming had fantasized about there being German agents and the excitement of cleaning them. His references to 'Red Indians' (four times, twice on last page) comes from Fleming's own 30 Assault Unit, which he nicknamed his own 'Red Indians'.

The failed assassination attempt on Bond while at Royale-Les-Eaux is also claimed by Fleming to be inspired by a real event. The inspiration comes from a failed assassination on Franz von Papen who was a Vice-Chancellor and Ambassador under Adolf Hitler. Both Papen and Bond survive their assassination attempts, carried out by Bulgarians, due to a tree that protects them both from a bomb blast.

On a geographic note, the city of Royale-les-Eaux and its casino are inspired by Le Touquet-Paris-Plage or by Deauville, where Fleming used to play as a young man.

Casino Royale is a fanatstic introduction to Bond, the otherwordly almost exotic atmosphere of a late-night French casino was in stark contrast to the austerity of both post-war and mid-seventies (when I first read it) Britain. Bond's willingness to take on the cunning Le Chiffre, whilst polishing off numerous drinks and enemies in equal measure sets a pace that didn't let up in his writing for the next ten years.

Bond's latent racism and inherent sexism, whilst not to be dismissed, must be taken in the context of the time and Fleming's upbringing. In fact compared to some of the crass examples of both in the latter films his prejudices are quite mild. That being said, Casino Royale is the only place to start for anybody discovering him for the first time and indeed the only place for anyone returning to his annual trawl through the files of Commander Sir James Bond, (KCMG, RNVR).

James Bond & Harry Palmer

It is often said that where Bond glamourised the world of espionage, Palmer epitomised the mundane nature of life in the British Secret Service. For every one of Bond's rather rich meals in a french casino, Palmer rustles up a nice little omelette for his current acquaintance. It is new money v old England, Flash v Stylish, Fleming v Deighton...

Interestingly enough, Deighton was actually invited to write the screenplay for From Russia with love. Although little of it was actually used. Either way, the truth of the matter is, they both looked good, dressed well & drank steadily. All in all, enough to satisfy Gentlemen of any era!

Poll Results - Harry Palmer Novels

1. The Ipcress File
2. The Billion Dollar Brain
3. Funeral in Berlin
4. Horse under water

Poll Results - Favourite Welshman

1 = Richard Burton
1 = Dylan Thomas
3 - Aneurin Bevan

Ash Wednesday

And you can't have a cigarette in colour, black & white only. That is why they smoked in the 60's but we don't anymore. It says so, it's in the rules...

Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day)

You can't make a pancake without...

Pretending you are actually Michael Caine as Harry Palmer in The Ipcress File, it says so, it's in the rules.

Dole Days

"Wham! Bam! I am a man! Job or no job, you can't tell me that I'm not"

Back in the way back, when jobs were optional and the dole was, if not plentiful, then financially tolerable and more importantly readily available.

The days stretched out like an endless road before us. Wake up whenever, go to bed whenever, skip a day, miss a night. Pop round a friends at three in the morning to have a smoke and listen to some Cajun Be-Bop or Ragamuffin Hip Hop.

Wake up at six & head down the seafront to read Ian Fleming novels on the beach, pile over to Brighton in Malc's van or just luxuriate in the sensual company of someone infinitely more interesting than the man at the job centre.

Those were the special days...

Afternoon Films #2 - Where Eagles Dare

'Get him!'

It is World War II, in the winter of 1943-44; U.S. Army Brigadier General George Carnaby, one of the chief planners of D-Day, is captured by the Germans when his aircraft is shot down en-route to Crete. He is taken to the Schloß Adler (The Castle of the Eagles – hence the title), a fortress high in the Alps that is headquarters of the German Secret Service in southern Bavaria. A team of mainly British commandos is assembled and briefed by Colonel Wyatt Turner and Admiral Rolland (Michael Hordern AKA Paddington Bear)of MI6, and led by Major John Smith (Richard Burton) and US Army Ranger Lieutenant Morris Schaffer (Clint Eastwood). Their mission is to parachute in, infiltrate the Schloß Adler, and rescue General Carnaby before the Germans can interrogate him. Agent Mary Elison, an MI6 operative, accompanies the mission in secret, her presence known only to Major Smith.

As the mission begins, two members are mysteriously killed, but Major Smith is unperturbed and keeps Lt. Schaffer as a close ally. Contriving to get the party captured, Smith and Schaffer, being officers, are separated from Thomas, Christiansen, and Berkeley, the only three remaining NCOs. Smith and Schaffer kill their captors and blow up a supply depot before hitching a ride on a cable car — the only approach to the castle. Mary, posing as a new maid, had been brought into the castle by Heidi, an MI6 agent disguised as a barmaid in the nearby village, and Major Von Hapen, a Gestapo officer and Heidi's acquaintance, who becomes infatuated with her. Mary allows Schaffer and Smith to climb in through a window overlooking the castle's station.

Carnaby's interrogation is underway, carried out by Gen. Rosemeyer and Col. Kramer, when Thomas and the others arrive and reveal themselves to be German double agents. Smith and Schaffer intrude, but Smith betrays and disarms Schaffer, and establishes himself as "Major Johann Schmidt" of SS Military Intelligence. He exposes the identity of Carnaby — that of a U.S. Army Corporal named Cartwright Jones, posing as the real general — and also explains that Thomas and the rest are British impostors. To test them, Smith proposes they write the names of their fellow conspirators to be compared to the personal list in his pocket, and divulges the name of Germany's top agent in Britain secretly to Kramer, who silently affirms it. After the three finish their lists, Smith reveals his list to Kramer, which appears to be blank. To the room's surprise, Smith admits the rescue operation was a cover for the real mission — to discover the identities of German spies in Britain.

Meanwhile, Mary, preparing the explosives, meets von Hapen again; he takes her to the castle's cafe, and subtly forces her to recite the tale of her assumed identity. He finds faults in her story, prompting him to investigate; he happens upon the meeting just as Smith finishes his explanation, and becomes hostile. Mary's entrance distracts von Hapen enough for Schaffer to kill him and the other German officers, after which the remaining group escape. Thomas, Berkeley and Christiansen are taken prisoner. Schaffer sets explosives to create diversions around the compound and Smith leads the group to the radio room, where he informs Rolland of their success. This scene includes the by now immortal code words "Broadsword calling Danny Boy", which Burton hams up to ludicrous levels.

They then battle their way to the cable car station; Thomas is sacrificed as a decoy, and Berkeley and Christiansen attempt their own escape, but Smith climbs atop the cable car they steal and destroys it with an explosive. Smith makes it back on a returning cable car and rides back down with the others, but the group abandons it mid-descent to reunite with Heidi and board a bus, prepared earlier as their escape vehicle. They drive hard to an airfield with soldiers in hot pursuit, and barely make it onto a disguised extraction plane, where Colonel Turner is waiting for them.

Smith briefs Turner on the mission and confirms a suspicion that he and Rolland had shared since before the start — namely that Turner himself is the top Nazi agent in Britain, whose name the late Kramer had agreed to before; Turner had been lured into participating so MI6 could expose him, with Mary (Smith's trusted partner) and Schaffer (an American with no connection to MI6) specially assigned to the team to ensure the mission's success. Deciding to save face, Turner commits suicide by jumping out of the plane.

All in all a cracking romp and one that survives repeat viewings, even now. Burton looks every inch a hard bitten lover of the sauce and Clint, well Clint looks like Clint, perfecting his minimalist approach to dialogue which came in hand for his role as Harry Callahan in the Dirty harry movies (more of which another day). Plenty of Nazis being blown to kingdom come and of course the brilliant cable car scene.

Cast
Richard Burton as Smith
Clint Eastwood as Schaffer
Mary Ure as Mary
Patrick Wymark as Turner
Michael Hordern as Rolland
Donald Houston as Christiansen
Peter Barkworth as Berkeley
William Squire as Thomas
Robert Beatty as Carnaby
Brook Williams as Harrod
Neil McCarthy as MacPherson
Vincent Ball as Carpenter
Anton Diffring as Kramer
Ferdy Mayne as Rosemeyer
Derren Nesbitt as Von Hapen
Victor Beaumont as Weissner
Ingrid Pitt as Heidi

Smarties

In the sepia tinted days before blue Smarties came on the scene and ruined everything, before the tubes became hexagons, when you wished that the letter on the inside of the lid corresponded with the target of your affection. There were proper Smarties...

Rowntrees of York, England, had made "Chocolate Beans" from 1882 onwards. The product was then renamed in a fit of marketing exuberance "Smarties Chocolate Beans" in 1937. However, before you could even blink an eye, forty years had passed and Rowntrees were forced to drop the words "chocolate beans" in 1977 due to trading standards requirements (the use of the word "beans" was felt to be misleading) so they adopted the stunning "Milk Chocolate in a Crisp Sugar Shell". Later, the sweet was rebranded quite simply and somewhat provocatively as "Smarties".

Smarties are now no longer manufactured in York; production has now moved to Germany (don't get me started), where a third of them were already made (did we know this?). Outside Europe, Nestlé's largest production facility for Smarties is in Canada, where Nestlé has been manufacturing products since 1918.

Apparently, in subculture "smarties" is a street name for ecstasy, because of the latter coming as colourful tablets. Although why on earth anyone would want to pop a pill as opposed to gulping down a handful "Chocolate Beans" is beyond me!

Taking a stroll...

Through Soho at dusk. From Carnaby Street to Kettners, dreaming of the girl at the end of the bar!

St David's Day

What we miss most about Wales...

Travelling to the Millenium Stadium for Cup Finals
Dylan Thomas
Bets-Y-Coed creamy Fudge
Brains Bitter
Rodney Ontong
Matthew Maynard
Duffy
Steven Gerrard OG
Ryan Giggs
St Mary's Street, Cardiff
Late nights at the Marriott
Sophia Gardens
St Ives Caerphilly
Llandridod Wells
Le Monde (St Mary Street)
Faggots in Gravy
Merthyr at dusk
North Wales slate mines
Beating Wales at Twickenham
Tom Jones
Walking along the Gower
The Hayes Toilet, Cardiff
Richard Burton
Anthony Hopkins
The Great Orme
Gavin & Stacey
Zulu
JPR Williams
Barry John
Holyhead ferry to Ireland
Severn Bridge Toll
The Prisoner
Young Marble Giants
Welsh Anthems that make your hair stand on end
Revolution Vodka Bar
Welsh rarebit (cheese on toast)
Eddie Niedzwiecki
Simon Jones
Monty Panesar & Jimmy Anderson
the road home (via the Membury Services)


(With thanks to Carlo Sartori)

Poll Results - Pop Art Explosions!!!

And the winner was...

1. WHAAM!!
2. POW!
3. ZAP!

Bubble & Squeak

Roast dinner was fine (when I used to eat meat) but it wasn't the highlight of the weekend. The true culinary hotspot was on Sunday when the leftovers from the previous days meal were transformed from horrible cabbage, soggy potato, inedible peas into the gorgeous, nay sumptuous explosion of taste and texture that was/is and ever shall be bubble & squeak.

Doused with gravy and the obligatory mint sauce, not forgetting the obligatory burnt bits. Nothing, no, nothing could beat it. Add to that a lovely yorkshire pudding and some cold cut and I was dining at the Ritz, the Stamford Bridge Cafe and The Grand Hotel Eastbourne all at the same time.

In fact now that the plate no longer has to accomodate beef, lamb or pork there is room for even more!

Wonderful!

UFO

Sunday lunchtime, before Batman & The Big Match (or heaven help us the dreadful Southern Soccer - more of which anon), in the afterglow of cold meat and Bubble & Squeak (anon 2), one programme stood out - UFO.

UFO was a signpost to the future. In the far off 1980's we wopuld all be driving round in cars with doors that either flipped up at the side or even better still flipped up at the front. We would be wearing all-in-one cream or indeed fawn jumpsuits. Women would have purple bobs and look incredibly gorgeous and we would also have a moonbase, interceptors, mobiles and perhaps most importantly (although I think the sartorial images ran it blooming close), we would be being invaded by Aliens from outerspace.

Funnily enough the alien race is never given a proper name, either by themselves or by human beings; they are simply referred to as "the aliens". Humanoid in appearance, the autopsy of the first alien captured reveals that they are harvesting organs from the bodies of abducted humans (nice). Their faces are stained by the hue of a green oxygenated liquid, which is believed to cushion their lungs against the extreme acceleration of interstellar flight; this liquid is contained in their helmets. To protect their eyes the aliens wear opaque sclera contact lenses with small pinholes for vision. The alien spacesuits were made of red Lycra and if truth be told, gave them a slightly less frightening demeanour.

To defend Earth against the aliens, a secret organisation called SHADO (Supreme Headquarters Alien Defence Organisation) is established. Operating behind the cover of the Harlington-Straker Studios movie studio in England, SHADO is headed by Commander Ed Straker (played by Ed Bishop), he was a former United States Air Force Colonel and astronaut who poses as the studio's chief executive. As an aside one rather dubious element of Straker's character was that he refused to drink alcohol even though he has a fully stocked bar in his SHADO office.

UFO had a large cast, and many of its members would come and go during the course of the series, with a number of actors — most notably George Sewell and Gabrielle Drake — leaving the series during the production break that occurred when the series had to change studios midway through production. It was established early on that SHADO personnel rotate between positions, so the occasional disappearance of characters — some of whom would later return in other positions — fits in with the concept of the series. Also, due to the scheduling of the series, which did not reflect the production order, some episodes featuring departed cast members were not actually aired until late in the series, giving the impression that no major cast changes occurred. Among the major actors, only Ed Bishop appeared in all episodes. The other major recurring characters apart from Straker in the series were:

Colonel Paul Foster (portrayed by Michael Billington) was a former test pilot whose plane was critically damaged when SHADO's Sky One intercepted and destroyed a UFO in close proximity to Foster's jet. His subsequent persistent investigation of the incident threatened to expose SHADO's existence and Straker considered having him killed, but instead was impressed enough with Foster to offer him a position with SHADO. Foster appears to be somewhat of a protégé of Straker's, as he was shown in a number of major positions. He was Moonbase Commander for a time (substituting for Lt. Ellis), assigned to Skydiver for several months, and also receives a position of authority at SHADO HQ. He masquerades as one of Straker's film producers in the studio and enjoyed a brief relationship with Col. Virginia Lake. Foster had the unique distinction of having once befriended one of the aliens, though he could not prevent him from being killed by SHADO personnel; his overall demeanour became noticeably more cynical after this event, a trait that rubbed off fairly quickly on those watching.

Lt. Gay Ellis (Gabrielle Drake) was most often seen as Moonbase Commander during the first half of the series, Lt. Ellis was occasionally portrayed as lacking self-confidence, and at other times as a take-charge officer. She was briefly reassigned to SHADO HQ when it was suggested that she may be romantically involved with Interceptor pilot Mark Bradley ("Computer Affair"). She also appeared to be attracted to Ed Straker, though nothing comes of it.

The thing however that Gabrielle Drake is perhaps most famous for is being the sister of Nick Drake and the mild state of confusion this engendered in me when first seeing a picture of the supremely gifted but pitifully shy guitarist took a while to resolve itself...

Col. Alec Freeman (George Sewell) SHADO's first officer until about the three-quarter point in the series (when Sewell left following the change of studios). A lady's man in his early 40s, Freeman was Straker's right hand man and, occasionally, his muscle. Everybody's pal at SHADO, Freeman takes a sardonic attitude towards some of the things Straker and SHADO must do to survive, and once submitted his resignation in protest over a decision ("Computer Affair"). Straker's closest friend and best man at his wedding, Freeman was the very first operative recruited into SHADO by Straker (as seen in "Confetti Check A-OK").

Footnote
I was convinced that I would one day end up driving Paul Fosters car, fighting The Aliens, working for Shado and most importantly that I would spend every waking hour of the day snogging Lt Gay Ellis, hence my confusion.. Sadly none of those things came to pass, although I was driving home at dusk last night and I saw a bright light in the sky, perhaps...

St Valentine's Day

The intrigue, the mystery, the run across the road to buy the girl in the office some flowers, the poem, the imagined kiss, the memories of warm nights under Soho's glow and of course the silent trudge home across the sand at dusk...

Top of the Dadaists - Poll Result

1. Hans/Jean Arp & Francis Picabia
3. Kurt Schwitters & Tristan Tzara
z. Klaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnggggg!!

A day of dAda Art

Sure, there are a few galleries down here. They are scattered quite nicely around the city but...

It is not quite the same as disappearing off into London and hanging out in the Tate (Britain or Modern, I'm not proud) or any of the other wonderful galleries. Turning the corner to find a Schwitters, Tazara, Arp or Picabia slumped against a wall, nailed to the ceiling or melting silently in a ball of fire and ice!

Whoooooooooooooopppppppppppeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

Poll Results - Jingly-jangly

And the winners are:

1. Orange Juice
2. The Smiths
3. Aztec Camera

Oh yes!

The death of the art of flirting

It was last Tuesday that the art of flirting finally bit the dust, a final coy remark and that was it. Gone. It would be easy (and probably incorrect) to blame the demise of the gentle flirt on ‘Political Correctness’ gone mad, the rise of computer games, the antics of Messrs Gray & Keys or any other of the hundred thousand excuses people trot out at times like these.

Perhaps the fact is, people just don't have the time, the inclination and most importantly the skills required to flirt any more. The art of having one conversation whilst so obviously having a completley different one at the same time with the same person has been lost.

So, for the purpose of historical accuracy I shall recount the moment that flirting died...

In a bar in Sydney, a young man of no more than 23 managed to catch the eye of the young girl serving. He ordered a beer and opened up a charming dialogue which culminated in him offering to buy the young lady a drink too.

"No thanks, can't" she replied. He looked her in the eye and then down at his own drink. "My loss..." he said and walked straight out of the bar, leaving his cold drink on the bar. She looked bemused for a second and then swiftly polished off the drink he'd left behind before popping the glass in the dishwasher.

Meanwhile, outside the bar the young man looked back in through the window as she wiped her mouth on the back of her hand.