Heralded as this generation’s Echo & the Bunnymen. Coldplay, featuring: Pianist Chris ‘Call me Mr Minor-key’Martin, guitarist Ronny Cosmos, bassist Jive Turkey and hapless drummer Bill Chump. Released a really very average album, wackily entitled ‘Parachutes’ in 2000. It has sold over a billion copies and has made them all as rich as Croesus – except poor old Bill, who gets barely tuppence a financial quarter.
They have stolen the hearts (and minds) of a whole generation of rather soppy individuals who think watching a bloke who writes on his own hand has raided the big boys dressing up box is somehow cool.
According to a made-up source, they are responsible for decimating the whole of the Amazon and melting the polar ice-caps. Nobody at “The Things I Miss…” can verify this outrageous claim and as such we are inclined to dismiss it as merely the rantings of a lazy journalist who is desperate to fill the required word count.
Coldplay are to music what Michael McIntyre is to comedy.
Jack Nash
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