Stingy the Geordie school teacher, who has been quoted as “dancing like a nonce and dressing like a berk” was the ‘driving-force’ in the new wave cod-reggae mob The Police (aka The Pseuds) that emerged out of the punk explosion. Alongside 92-year-old ex-music hall and vaudeville guitarist Andy Supper-Club and ersatz right-wing populist tub-thumping mono-drummer Stewart Copebloke.
Stingy & Co. spat a slimy mouthful of cold sick all over the UK music scene. These unutterably wishy-washy outpourings were despised the length and breadth of the country. To such an extent that political observers can directly trace the resurgence of the Scottish National Party to the album’s release in October 1979. Sinn Féin also received a significant amount of additional funding around this time, although is generally assumed to be nothing more than a mere coincidence.
Reggatta de Blanc (loose translation – White Regatta and not White Reggae as The Pseuds had assumed) was full of the most mind-numbing bilge imaginable. Tracks include; ‘Message in a bottle, ‘Walking on the Moon’, ‘Going to the Shops’, ‘Having a cup of tea’, ‘I & I living in a Dreadwood’ ‘My family are all CIA’ and ‘Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo’ reached the top of the UK album charts and anyone who bought this tripe should apologise right now.
1979 proved to be a bit of a horror show for poor Ol’ Stingy. Not only had he dished up this atrocious offering, he had also managed to mangle the role of the Ace Face in the film ‘Quadrophenia’. His dancing in the film, even now, is shown to all wannabees as how not to dance. It was so bad he was only filmed from his top lip upwards. It wasn’t just Stingy who had a bad year though. Trumped up American bell-end Copebloke, also lot his deposit when standing in the UK general election earlier in the year as a candidate for the Muppets Party. Andy Supper-Club also mislaid his bus pass that September.
Stingy is still performing under armed guard. Copebloke is still not to be trusted with sharp objects. Supper-Club doesn’t know what year it is.
Karen Warbleton
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